Re: [Paddlewise] Group dynamics (long)

dianem_at_sd61.bc.ca wrote:

--big snip of insightful post--

> I  want to be sure that if I say I will stay and wait, that my
> companion
> understands that I mean that and not to go off without me, and that I
> expect the same; I would not let a headstrong novice paddler set out
> on her
> or his own; I wouldn't leave my paddling companion unless he/she was
> injured or unable to paddle and I had to seek help.

--snip--

I quite agree with John's analysis of Diane's adventure, and also agree
with John that Diane's trip raises several separate issues which warrant
discussion.  In this post  I would like to focus on the pressure which
is sometimes felt on day trips to make it home rather than to camp over.

OK gang, hands up for those who have spouses, children, parents or close
friends who would flip-out, think we are dead or in dire circumstances,
and call 911 if we did not return in the evening from a day trip.  Let's
face it, for many paddlers (perhaps most), there is this outside
influence on our decision concerning whether to press on or to pitch
camp.  Lord knows my folks were like this.

I think, however, that this sort of counter-productive pressure can be
somewhat mitigated by including the stay-at-homes in the trip planning
process, and by acclimating both them and yourself to occasional
un-expected camp-overs.  By going through the trip plan with them each
and every time you go out, you stand a better chance at them realizing
that your not arriving home for tea means that you are more likely to be
safe and snug somewhere than in danger.  Make it very clear when they
should call for help, but make it equally clear that up to this point
they should not worry.  The less they worry, the less you will worry
about them worrying, and the more rational your decisions will be.  If
they are not capable of rationalizing their fears, you simply have to
recognize this, and if you find yourself in a jam, you must remind
yourself to not let your perception of their anxiety affect your
decision. At each leg of a journey which is running into trouble,
discuss the matter with the group.  Get it out in the open, and ask that
extraneous concerns, such as the anxiety of folks at home, be filed away
and not be allowed to influence your immediate safety decisions.  Even
if you are concerned that an expensive rescue may be called in, you
still must not let this affect your decision.

Richard Culpeper
www.geocities.com/~culpeper






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