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From: Mark Zen <canoeist_at_netbox.com>
subject: [Paddlewise] trip report [repost]
Date: Mon, 9 Feb 1998 08:12:42 -0700 (MST)
It was a dark and stormy night ... wait, let's start with the morning!

In yonder land, Lord Adams was sharing, with his followers, the mystical 
RMCC River Signals, and enchanted whistle commands. With one single 
breath, Lord Adams cast out the designated swimmers, and hurled his mob 
of boat craft downriver. In less time than it takes a bat to blink, the 
swimmers did so. In a flash, Shepherd Zen changed his solo craft into a 
tandem race horse. He flagged down Sir Derek the Brave to his aid. Sir 
Derek entrusted the young Brady's to his wife, Noblewoman Karen, and 
joined Zen on the search for the Life-force craft belonging to the 
swimmers. Meanwhile the Magnetic Tree was drawing the Young Study Garcia 
and his charge, Fair Maiden Amber closer. Before a magic throw rope 
could be deployed, the young pair drew closer. They had thought to avoid 
this peril by using an Osagian Indian Aluminum canoe, but alas the 
crafter used steel rivets [to the dismay of Alessandro and Amber].

Quick thinking told the pair not to use their heads, and they ducked. 
All the while, the speed racers were able to bump the lost Life-Force 
craft into calmer waters, never noticing the developing dilemma. As Fate 
would have it, the Young Voyagers joined the swimmers. Angel Jessica 
came to her friend Amber's side; and Amber gasped out in hope. Young 
Angel Jessica was but an apprentice, just having grown her wings. She 
got too close to the action and was swept from her craft by Fickle Fate. 
When Fate saw what she had done, she cast Angel back into the waters, 
far from her craft.

When Lord Adams viewed the specter, he was aghast. The brave horde that 
followed was commanded to wait, while he, and his crew of young children 
[of course making this the Adam's Family] chased after the runaway steed 
belonging to Angel Jessica. While the heroic King rode away from his 
populace, the people were comforted by Sir Ron, and Pilgrim Paul.

Lord Adams succeeded in draining the excessive fluids from the Angel's 
steed, and proceeded on the long trudge back to join his people. The 
Official Swimmers had been rescued by the Official Rescuers, and the 
Young Travelers had climbed out of the river, and stood shivering on the 
bank. Of course, Fate's Fickle hand played with the group again, leaving 
the Young Adventurers on the opposite bank from their clan. Pilgrim Paul 
and a Worthy Assistant [Bill of the River I believe, but the events spun 
past the eyes of this astounded observer, not giving him time to 
observe] proceeded to charge across the melee. They arrived and offered 
help, all the while feeling helpless. On his arrival, Lord Adams took 
command of a magical throw rope, and proceeded to cast it and spells of 
four letter duration across the river. Alas again, the river was to wide 
to throw a rope across, and too deep to ford easily, and no brave 
magician had mastered walking on water. In a flash, Zen became 
enlightened, and ordered a Perilous Ferry to charge them across the 
waters. The Young were soon rescued, and Peace overcame the World. For a 
minute anyway... Lo and after time, Sir Ron offered to lead the people 
to Safety.

And the small band [40% of the vessels that left their homeland] lead by 
Sir Ron left their King, and voyage back to their homeland "BaseCamp." 
Pilgrim Paul offered to ignore his quest and join this small crowd, 
acknowledging that he had the keys to the enchanted Shuttle Vehicle. 
Those following Sir Ron and Pilgrim Paul found safe passage, and verily 
did they return to their Kingdom Kommodeless. They returned to Komedian 
Ken, the Kingdom Joker, whose latest prank was to make all the privy's 
disappear. To the dismay of all, they never reappeared. Otherwise his 
humor and wit was a joy to all, and other trivial problems were ignored, 
and good grog flowed ... 

Back to our Seekers of the Promised Landing... They floated on, through 
the rocky maelstrom. Those continuing were warned that grievous danger 
lay ahead, but the Seekers forged on. They were determined to continue 
and bade farewell to those left behind. Shepherd Zen left his trusty 
steed with Sir Derek and Noblewoman Karen, and embarked onward with Mr. 
Garcia. Lord Adams guided on fearlessly. The waves were fierce, but none 
worse than had passed. A muttering went through the ranks, and those 
thoughts went back to the people who turned away, as they could have 
joined the procession to the Promised Landing. The way got easier to 
navigate. That is, until Killer Falls loomed ahead, for it appeared the 
whole world fell away. Maybe there was indeed an edge of the world, and 
we may be swept over the edge.

Lord Adams followed the uncanny signs, and his wisdom lead his people 
around the Killer Falls, defying the toothy jaws. THE Healer Todd asked 
Lord Adams what would his people have done if the secret trail hadn't 
been found. Lord Adams demonstrated his powers by taking the powerful 
Medicine Man in his own craft to the very headwaters of the Falls; he 
leered; he snarled; he shoved off!! Like a poet describing the gentle 
petals of the rose, while ignoring the thorn in his finger, King Dennis 
propelled the craft onward while Todd led around the corners, and lo 
and behold, a miracle, they made it. But Lord Adams proclaimed "no not a 
miracle, but years of study" and to prove his point he lashed his 
children to the very bow of his Club Red Craft, and plunged through the 
very jowls of the Beast, and even after three drops, they remained 
upright and grinning, just like William Tell's child. The [small] horde 
cheered, and knew why Dennis was a leader, he knew his abilities and he 
shared them, coaching others along the way. Knowing full well, in years 
they would be the masters. Again the crafts were boarded, and the 
Kingdom sallied forth. They passed quietly the prison grounds, always 
keeping alert for the escaped beggars, borrowers, and thieves, but none 
appeared. The sky cleared and all got well with the world again ...

Until that night, when the darks skies gathered, both in the air, and in 
the Kommodeless Kingdom. For although all arrived safely, there was a 
disagreement on the difficulty scale this trip fell. Therein lay the 
problem. Let me give another example. 

    In another lifetime about a month ago, my mate and I elected to take 
    another journey. Knowing the leader of that Expedition, Jack the 
    Wave Ripper, we entrusted his estimation of the Classic Three Wave 
    Train. I had another previous Expedition with Brave Knight Brady, 
    now known as Sir Derek the Brave. Pushy water monsters and boulders 
    of monstrous proportions on that River of Powder. My mate Mel and I 
    ventured we could do _one_ Classic Three, as our paddling was so 
    harmonious and my condition improving. We hadn't practiced together 
    in this craft this year. We hadn't worked our way up the Adventure 
    ladder yet this year. We hadn't warmed up. We hadn't imagined a Wave 
    Train leagues long, and after battling, and keeping the Dry Side 
    dry, we miscommunicated and were grabbed Fate, and slung to the 
    shore, to be rescued by Master Jay and daughter Sweet Sue. We hadn't 
    expected that situation. But we were well prepared, with a magical 
    protective skin, and large gourdlike objects to save our heads.

Here the People of the Search for the Promised Landing were not sure of 
what to expect. A flat lake maybe, with a ripple or two. Were their 
expectations met? Nay. Were there large objects to avoid? Aye. What did 
it take to avoid these large objects? The ability to maneuver from one 
side of the river to the other... It is a close call, was it a Great 
One, or a Terrible Two?? The debate will always rage. My call would be a 
hard One. I must say from observing the next day, that Lord Adams made 
one bad call, when he sent everyone to the left after the rescue, and 
to the right was better. He scared everyone, unintentionally. Everyone 
must remember the guidelines: We are indeed responsible for ourselves. 
We must make the decision whether to continue or not. Each person must 
decide whether they may run the river, or portage the obstacle. People 
who were uncomfortable should have left, and they did, with dignity. 
Many who turned away had never been on this river, and didn't know what 
to expect. 

Moral:

You don't know what lies ahead, so ask questions. We wished we had, we 
would have gone up early and scouted the river from the bank. Ask lots 
of questions, but also realize the water is high and cold. Rivers move, 
they bite and they suck, they push and they pull. While the paddling may 
be just a class One, the Swim could be a Class Two. Try and pair up with 
someone else, watch out for each other. I was the Shepherd, and I left 
my charges to help the Swimmers, and in the mean time, my charges took 
off. I should have left the Swimmers, as there were other Rescuers 
along. 

Epilogue:

My guests swam, but were otherwise fine. Alessandro continued paddling 
with me, while Jessica and Amber went back to BaseCamp to relax. Todd 
and Stacey paddled over the "Falls" on Sunday. Paul was able to finish 
the trip the second day. Ron & family & guests enjoyed the campsite the 
next day, along with several other families. Dennis left his fragile 
cargo with Jessica and Amber Sunday, to challenge the river in his C1. 
Amber has been invited back to the river, in the same boat with me on an 
agreed upon river!! Bill and Guest [sorry] paddled the same stretch the 
next day, as did I. Although I paddled it in my Sea Kayak the second day 
[and got trashed in a hole and bitten by barbed wire, but that's another 
story]!!


----- End Included Message -----


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