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From: Chuck Holst <CHUCK_at_multitech.com>
subject: [Paddlewise] FW: No Subject
Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 10:21:55 -0500
My wife just forwarded the following story to me. Enjoy.

Chuck Holst

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

A hurricane blew up unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost. The
man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other   people,
no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 5-star hotels,
he had no idea what to do, so for the next four months he ate bananas,
drank coconut juice and longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the   
sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.

One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the
corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous
woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her:
"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here   when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he said. "I didn't know anyone else had survived.  How many
are there? You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."

"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up; nothing did."

He was confused. "Then how did you get the rowboat?"

"Oh, simple," replied the woman."I made the rowboat out of materials that   
I found on the island.The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches. I
wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree."

"B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no tools or
hardware. How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the other side of
the island there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock.
I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it
melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used
the tools to make the hardware."

"But enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?"

Sheepishly, he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the
whole time.

"Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said.  After a few minutes
of rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to the
shore he nearly fell out of the boat.  Before him was a stone walk
leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the
house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down,
please; would you like a drink?"

"No, no thank you," he said, still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut
juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about
a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her
couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman
announced: "I'm going to slip into something comfortable. Would you like
to take a shower and shave?  There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in
the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There
in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a
hollow ground edge were fastened onto it's end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he mused. "What next?"  When he returned, she
greeted him wearing nothing but vines - strategically positioned - and
smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to
her.

"Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering closer to him "we've been
out here for a very long time.  You've been lonely. There's something I'm   
sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing
for all these months. You know....." She stared into his eyes.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean--?" he replied, "I
can check my e-mail from here?"


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