[Paddlewise] Wishful thinking

Every so often I see listserver stuff about what people would like to do
when a jet ski buzzes or annoys them while out on the water.  Here is a
true story that while not exactly on the revenge-against-jet-ski wish is
pretty funny and in the same vein.

My son, who is on leave from the Army before going to a new post on the
DMZ in Korea, told me a story I had not heard before about something
that happened while he was with the Big Red One Division in Germany
about 10 years ago.

He was driving a humvee near New Ulm in Bavaria when he suddenly felt a
stinging sensation on his leg.  He looked out of his window and realized
that a German kid with a BB gun had just shot him with a pellet that had
gone through the thin vinyl door.  Jason got pissed and decided to chase
the kid who by now had run into a middle class neighborhood street.  The
only thing is Jason, in hot pursuit, took his humvee with him ignoring
the lieutenant next to him who was yelling "What are you doing, Diaz!"

Meanwhile it seems that Jason also forgot that he was at the head of a
six vehicle convoy.  They dutifully all followed him as he made a sharp
left turn across traffic on the busy highway!  Road traffic stopped dead
and why not.  The other vehicles in the convoy were mean-looking
mechanized track types:  an enlarged version of the venerable M-113, two
self propelled horowitzers on tracks with their muzzles pointing
menacingly out, and two large tracked ammo carriers.    

The kid, by now about two blocks into the neighborhood, turned, froze
and quivvered at the sight of this mighty army chasing him down in
seeming revenge for his BB gun misdeed.  Jason got out of the vehicle
but not before neighbors, aroused by the sound of heavy track traffic,
had come out into their front yards.  A tense scene.

At this point, a German grandmother emerged from a house the kid was
standing in front of.  Jason's German wasn't too good but a sargeant
pipped up on what had happened.  The grandmother grabbed the kid by the
ear and dragged him inside to a fate unknown.  Meanwhile, neighbors, who
had been concerned about the humvee and the five tracked armed vehicles
in their midst, started laughing and cheering (the kid was probably
quite a disliked brat with his BB gun).  They then helped the convey
back out of the narrow street on to the highway.

I guess the equivalent for kayaking might be having a flotilla of PT
boats behind you.

ralph diaz
-- 
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Ralph Diaz . . . Folding Kayaker newsletter
PO Box 0754, New York, NY 10024
Tel: 212-724-5069; E-mail: rdiaz_at_ix.netcom.com
"Where's your sea kayak?"----"It's in the bag."
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