I am deeply indebted to Greg Stamer for reminding me of the British influence on Greenland kayaking via the importation of the British male social club. Soon after arriving in Greenland the Brits introduced the male social club to Inuit men who took to sitting around the fire saying "Jolly Good Old Man" and "I say" and "Did I tell you the one about Lord Muktuk getting thrown from a seal into some gorse bushes" like British politicians to a prostitute. Long before Menasse was a glimmer in his father's eye during the long arctic night Inuit men were sopping up British culture while, unbeknownst to them, the British were laying the subversive groundwork for the BCU. What were these brits doing in Greenland? Why they were seeking an air route across the Arctic. Cynics might ask how one finds an air route by kayak but they ask out of ignorance. The Brits were well aware of Inuit crotch dirigibles from pictographs left on the outer Hebrides and in London subway toilets (most saying Seal Blubber Rules). They knew that the Inuit had mastered flight long before they mastered paddling but that somehow the two were linked and they were determined to find out how.. But I digress. The Inuit kayak club structure provided the means by which British paddling technique could be introduced to young Inuit as "the methods of our Grandfathers" through audio visual methods such as slide shows and British Pub songs. Today the transformation is complete and the Inuit (as Mr Stamer so kindly points out) have expanded upon their basic BCU paddling range using various practical training methods such as lorries (one can never tell when one might hrapoon a lorry or even a Russian submarine and be towed sideways). I myself have had occasion to harpoon an American anthropologist while he molested a juvenile seal and my training with lorries stood me in good stead. He must have towed me seven versts before being subdued. I must, however, take issue with Mr Stamer's use of the term "Traditional rolls". Despite my search of Inuit histories written in the original Hebrew I could find not one mention of rolls prior to the construction of the Great Inuit Subway system. As I have explained elsewhere, the Inuit who roll only do so because they failed to catch their subway. Successful Inuit do not resurface. In such accidental ways do new sports appear. You can imagine their frustration at rolling down to catch the cross town and not even finding the station. No wonder Mr Stamer had trouble getting clear information from a visiting Inuit. The poor man couldn't understand why he was being asked to catch the subway when there was no subway to catch. American paddlers, believing that rolling is the reason for paddling (Many never paddle anywhere but in swimming pools where their rolls can be more easily viewed in the clear water) have refined the sport and now have over three hundred different rolls. Individual freestyle, medley and synchronised rolling are being offered as demonstration sports at the next winter Olympics. I believe Mr Stamer does the Brits a disservice to imply that they cannot do as many. The average non paddling Brit can perform any number of rolls after a solid meal of bangers and mash. Imagine what he could do with a boat and BCU Star. Once again I thank Mr Stamer for calling my attention to the impact of the British Club System on Greenland Style paddling and look forward to sharing an oil drum of paunch with him the next time we meet in Greenland. Sincerely, Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.G Transcribed by his humble servant John Winters *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net Website: http://www.gasp-seakayak.net/paddlewise/ ***************************************************************************Received on Mon Dec 07 1998 - 08:13:53 PST
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