Re: [Paddlewise] Flares

G'day Tim -

I nearly peed myself reading your note on the flare incident.

I had a somewhat similar incident quite a while back.  I thought that I would
shoot an expired Para flare off in a mates paddock (a field here in Australia).
We were a bloody long ways from the ocean, not a ship in sight for 300 km.

I figured, who will know, and it should come down pretty close to us anyhow and
it will be out by the time it lands. Oh yeah.

To cut a long story short it came down about a 1/2 kilometer!!! away in a very
dry field a lucerne (hay) in full burn and nearly burned out a 30 meter section
of paddock before a very panicky mate and I got it under control.  I could see a
major grass fire on our hands and all I thought was, far out, I may be
responsible for burning half the shire out!!!  Visions of jail terms for arson
danced through my head.

My mate was less than impressed and I suffered a credibility set back to which I
am still having problems recovering although a lot of beer has helped soothe his
disposition.  My mates wife reckons that I looked a right idiot running across
the paddock like an idiot - clearing barb wire fences in a single bound - funny
what the thought of a jail term will do to a God fearing citizen!

Now if anyone asks if I know how to fire off a Para flare I just nod knowingly
and recommend that any test firing be done WAY out to sea and only if the
authorities know OR if you need it.  Best done from an aircraft carrier I reckon
because some of those puppies really go off with a whoosh!!!

Regards -

Wayne Langmaid
Central Coast Kayak Tours

Mattson, Timothy G wrote:

> Oh, well, I might as well get this off my chest.
>
> I was worried that I had never launched a flare.  How could I depend on
> launching a flare in bouncy water during an emergency if I'd never tried it
> ahead of time?  The problem is that in normal paddling situations, you don't
> want to send off a flare without cause.  What if someone came to rescue me
> after I had launched a test flare?
>
> So I came up with a great idea.  I would wait until July 4 when people are
> launching stuff into the sky all the time.  I could then shoot off a  flare
> during the obligatory fire works show for my kids without causing undue
> attention from any rescue personnel. I was quite pleased with my clever
> solution to this problem.
>
> July 4th arrived.  Alll the neighborhood kids were there as were many of
> their parents.  I checked the wind direction and carefully angled the flare
> so it would fall harmlessly into the street. Several people pointed out that
> this was a risky operation but i assured them that I knew what I was doing.
> Besides,  If I misestimated the flare's burn time or how far it would shoot,
> I was still safe since there was a vacant lot on the other side of the
> street.
>
> Off went the flare.  You can imagine the horror on my face when the flare
> shot into the sky and hit some wind moving in an unanticipated direction.
> The horror turned to dread when the flare burned longer and higher than I
> expected and landed on my neighbors roof.
>
> Of course, the roof caught on fire.  I ran to get a hose, but the hose
> wasn't long enough.  I ran to get another hose so I could get water onto the
> fire.  Fortunately, I have a very quick thinking neighbor and while I was
> running around getting hoses,  he grabbed a ladder, climbed up on the roof
> and put out the fire with his coat.  Because of his quick thinking, the
> total damages (which I paid, of course) were modest and a tragedy was
> averted.
>
> Everyone was very nice about it (including the owner of the house), but I
> must say, I have never felt so stupid in my entire life.  Even now, almost 6
> months after the event, the neighborhood kids enjoy teasing me about it.
> Its been a good object lesson for my kids.  When they feel bad about doing
> something stupid, I just remind them of my great flare test -- even grownups
> do really stupid things sometimes.
>
> As for the  lessons learned,  I was really surprised at how hard it was to
> load the small flare canister onto the launcher.  Once loaded, it took
> considerable dexterity to get the firing pin to snap onto the flare and
> launch it.   I question my ability to launch a flare if I was in bouncing
> water and had limited hand function due to the cold.  I also learned that
> these small harmless looking projectile flares need to be treated with great
> respect.  You could do serious damage to someone if you hit them with a
> flare.
>
> --Tim
>
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