[Paddlewise] ice on flatwater (long winded)

	Hi All!
	So I got me a new (used) canoe for Xmas. Just had to try it out, so at the
first opportunity I haul it to the nearest likelyhood of finding open
water, which happens to be a large reservoir 'bout an hours drive south.
When I get to my usual put-in, I'm greeted by an impressive view across the
wide expanse of ice covering the entire western part of the resv. Now, I
can see that the main body of water to the east is open, and I'm just about
to bite the bullet and pay the entry fee to the state park / marina when a
couple of duck hunters appear. They tell me that the next cove to the east
has open water, and ask me to chase a few birds their way. Being reluctant
to share the boat ramp with the big boys, (and mostly being cheap), I toss
the canoe over a shoulder and march off thru the mud -n- snow. 
	Paddled east into a bit of a headwind for a couple of miles, hugging the
shore and staying in the lee as much as possible. Meanwhile, the breeze has
freshened into a fairly steady ~20 MPH wind from the east, so naturally I'm
thoroughly enjoying the return trip, so much so that I blow (literally)
rite past the little inlet with open water from whence I had departed. I
set up to crank around into the lee of the last headland before my (usual)
put-in, and THE ICE IS THERE!!! I'm already further from shore than is
prudent, so I really get serious about making this turn and THE ICE IS
THERE TOO!!! I can see the solid/liquid interface by where the waves quit
off in the distance, but up close, and in the partial shelter of the
headland, and with the afternoon sun in my eyes I'm having a hard . time .
distinguishing . just . . where . . . GRUUNK!!!
	Now at this point I should mention that my new (used) boat is rather
rounder in the hull than my usual steed, and this, coupled with the
unfortunate fact that I have lost a tequila-drinking contest with The Lady
the night before and so am about 1/2 hung over, has already stressed my
equilibrium nearly to the breaking point. Luckily, I have already scrubbed
most of my forward momentum, and so the impact is more of a slide than a
blow. In fact, my port chine actually comes up onto THE ICE nearly spilling
me out to starboard. Thru no fault of my own, I slide back into the water
with the canoe still under me. Wide-eyed, I thrust against THE ICE with my
paddle, which of course promptly slips and very nearly precipitates me into
the water to port. I sit very still while the adrenaline surge subsides and
my pulse rate drops back to something less than 200.
	Once I can see clearly again, I take stock of my predicament. I have
inadvertently followed a V shaped lead for about 50ft before running
aground (a-ice?), and now find myself surrounded on three sides by THE ICE,
with the wind striving to push me back up onto it. Carefully probing with
my paddle I find that I am floating in very shallow water with ice directly
below me as well as on both sides; perhaps I have flexed the ice sheet
coming aground, as it appears to be quite thin, perhaps 1/2 inch. My spare
paddle is one of those aluminum shafted things and I have frequently cursed
(but never repaired) it's loose grip, and I soon hold it reversed, sans
grip, and use the open end to pole myself backward with my port chine
bumping and grinding queasily along THE ICE. With a final shove I push away
from THE ICE, reverse the paddle (grip? we don' need no stinkin' grip!),
and spin that sucker around like a top. Belive me, a brisk headwind with 1
1/2ft waves never felt so good.
	In no time at all I find myself sitting in the local McD's wolfing a
McGrease burger and contemplating mortality. Suppose I'd have gone
swimming? The water wasn't particularly warm or anything. I was wearing my
PFD, but was dressed for the 50F air temperature (jeans, sweatshirt, gortex
shell jacket) with all of my warmer stuff (and two-way radio) in my dry-bag
tied in the canoe. Where I grounded was only about 200ft from dirt, but
that was 200ft of ice. Nearest approach to shore via water more like
1000ft. Crawl across 200ft of 1/2 inch thick ice, even if I could manage to
drag my fat butt up onto it? Not likely! Swim 1000ft in ~40F water? Attempt
to empty and re-board an unfamiliar boat already noted to be somewhat
tippy? Hmmmm! Best I can figure,someone watches out for the fools in this
world! The other thing I decided is that the reason I experienced
difficulty determining where liquid met solid was (I think) because the
wind was pushing waves up over the ice. Scary! Be careful out there folks!
ByeBye! Steve J. 

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