My dear friend and occasional research assistant John Winters has asked that I post to this thread. I was born April 3, 1939. I recall my first roll while in my mother's womb possibly as a result of her getting a tattoo of a kayak on her belly with the longitudinal center of gravity located precisely at her navel. I was a precocious child and spoke four Inuit and three Cree dialects by the age of 7. Needless to say, I had exceptional paddling skills having been taught by the famous Juanissee. At the age of 10 I made my fist open water crossing paddling across Lake Superior in a home made dugout canoe. I used my father's inflatable dolls as supplementary stability with the blonde strapped to the port side and the brunette on the starboard side. Had I been aware of patents at the time I would have been as rich as that fellow who stole my idea. I completed my formal education at the age of twelve and set out to make my mark in Inuit anthropology. My first book, Playing Doctor in Inuit communities established me as an authority on Inuit sexual mores and is still the standard text on the topic. The strain of research soon forced me to shift my field of study to Inuit kayaks and I as the first to properly define the Greenland kayak and its derivations. By 1980 I had grown bored with sea kayaking. The Brits had turned it into a commercial fabrication and assorted pseudo anthropologists had begun writing popularised studies of the boats. Rather than fight the misinformation I shifted my focus to canoes where the industry was still languishing in the dark ages of literature. There is no truth to the rumour that I left the Arctic under a pederastic cloud of suspicion. The only way to study the relationship between Inuit youth and Catholic priests is to observe closely their activities. If I observed too closely it was in the name of science. My contributions to the symbolism in canoe stem shapes received critical acclaim among intelligent paddlers as did my studies of the cocaine traffic between Mayan and Cree tribes of Quebec. In 1991 I returned to the Arctic to follow up on rumours of the great Inuit Crotch Dirigibles and their connection with the discovery of Scotland and the British by the Inuit. I point to the results of that study and how it led to a greater understanding of the Inuit influence on Egyptian culture in the Fifth Dynasty with pride. Currently I am at work studying the Resolute Bay paddling style which is unique among Inuit paddling styles and has been completely ignored by narrow minded paddlers incapable of looking at Inuit culture as a great continuum of development rather than a series of isolated events. Currently I paddle fifteen or so Inuit reproductions made from both seal skin and the skins of humans sacrificed to the great God Sargon. I can do three hundred and fifteen different rolls and seven variations of the paddle float rescue. I never use any electronic gear, life jackets or other such wimpy equipment designed for unskilled North American casual paddlers. I find the standard of paddling to be absurdly low among BCU and ACA instructors who spend more time capsizing than paddling although I confess that they can roll nicely Respectfully, Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.G Transcribed by his humble servant John Winters *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net Website: http://www.gasp-seakayak.net/paddlewise/ ***************************************************************************
Truly an impressive resume. I propose that the Paddlewise group bestow on Dr Inverbon an honorary Pf. D. degree. This is the least we can do for someone who has made such contributions. John Winters wrote: > My dear friend and occasional research assistant John Winters has asked > that I post to this thread. > > I was born April 3, 1939. I recall my first roll while in my mother's womb > possibly as a result of her getting a tattoo of a kayak on her belly with > the longitudinal center of gravity located precisely at her navel. > > I was a precocious child and spoke four Inuit and three Cree dialects by > the age of 7. Needless to say, I had exceptional paddling skills having > been taught by the famous Juanissee. At the age of 10 I made my fist open > water crossing paddling across Lake Superior in a home made dugout canoe. I > used my father's inflatable dolls as supplementary stability with the > blonde strapped to the port side and the brunette on the starboard side. > Had I been aware of patents at the time I would have been as rich as that > fellow who stole my idea. > > I completed my formal education at the age of twelve and set out to make my > mark in Inuit anthropology. My first book, Playing Doctor in Inuit > communities established me as an authority on Inuit sexual mores and is > still the standard text on the topic. > > The strain of research soon forced me to shift my field of study to Inuit > kayaks and I as the first to properly define the Greenland kayak and its > derivations. By 1980 I had grown bored with sea kayaking. The Brits had > turned it into a commercial fabrication and assorted pseudo anthropologists > had begun writing popularised studies of the boats. Rather than fight the > misinformation I shifted my focus to canoes where the industry was still > languishing in the dark ages of literature. > > There is no truth to the rumour that I left the Arctic under a pederastic > cloud of suspicion. The only way to study the relationship between Inuit > youth and Catholic priests is to observe closely their activities. If I > observed too closely it was in the name of science. > > My contributions to the symbolism in canoe stem shapes received critical > acclaim among intelligent paddlers as did my studies of the cocaine traffic > between Mayan and Cree tribes of Quebec. > > In 1991 I returned to the Arctic to follow up on rumours of the great Inuit > Crotch Dirigibles and their connection with the discovery of Scotland and > the British by the Inuit. I point to the results of that study and how it > led to a greater understanding of the Inuit influence on Egyptian culture > in the Fifth Dynasty with pride. > > Currently I am at work studying the Resolute Bay paddling style which is > unique among Inuit paddling styles and has been completely ignored by > narrow minded paddlers incapable of looking at Inuit culture as a great > continuum of development rather than a series of isolated events. > > Currently I paddle fifteen or so Inuit reproductions made from both seal > skin and the skins of humans sacrificed to the great God Sargon. I can do > three hundred and fifteen different rolls and seven variations of the > paddle float rescue. I never use any electronic gear, life jackets or other > such wimpy equipment designed for unskilled North American casual paddlers. > I find the standard of paddling to be absurdly low among BCU and ACA > instructors who spend more time capsizing than paddling although I confess > that they can roll nicely > > Respectfully, > Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.G > Transcribed by his humble servant John Winters > > *************************************************************************** > PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List > Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net > Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net > Website: http://www.gasp-seakayak.net/paddlewise/ > *************************************************************************** *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net Website: http://www.gasp-seakayak.net/paddlewise/ ***************************************************************************
Dear Dr. Inverbon: In your most recent post, you had mentioned that you are presently studying the Resolute Bay kayak culture, and that many years earlier your first publication was "Playing Doctor in Inuit". I was wondering, have you any theories as to why the the Resolute Bay culture is the only one which routinely included women in paddling groups? Does this have anything to do with the extremely short and light paddles , or is it more to do with religious beliefs? Cheers, Richard Culpeper www.geocities.com/~culpeper *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net Website: http://www.gasp-seakayak.net/paddlewise/ ***************************************************************************
In a message dated 2/13/1999 9:15:43 PM EST, 735769_at_ican.net writes: << I was a precocious child and spoke four Inuit and three Cree dialects by the age of 7. >> Now it is coming to light why none of the stuff John Winters writes makes any sense at all. He uses seven different languages in every sentence. What do they call it? Not doublespeak but septenuspeak? John *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net Website: http://www.gasp-seakayak.net/paddlewise/ ***************************************************************************
Richard Culpeper wrote; >In your most recent post, you had mentioned that you are presently studying the >Resolute Bay kayak culture, and that many years earlier your first publication >was "Playing Doctor in Inuit". I was wondering, have you any theories as to >why the the Resolute Bay culture is the only one which routinely included women >in paddling groups? Does this have anything to do with the extremely short and >light paddles , or is it more to do with religious beliefs? Of all Inuit cultural groups the Resolute Bay Inuit rank among the most advanced regarding their treatment of women. Unlike most regional cultures that believed a woman to be unclean when menstruating, the Resolute Bay Inuit men hold them to be sacred. Recognising the significance of the monthly cycle (and only slightly misconstruing its usefulness) they drag their women behind their kayaks as bait for large game fish believing correctly that the blood will draw fish within range of their harpoons. Elders have commented that the trolling has a salutary effect on a wife's disposition and PMS is practically unknown in Resolute Bay. . Of equal importance to their function in attracting game, the women benefit from being perceived as active and valuable members of the group rather than pariahs. There is far less substance abuse among Resolute Bay Inuit females than in other regions. I believe this is due to the high self-esteem of the women who see themselves in a positive light within a patriarchal society. One can imagine the practice drawbacks of the practice. In the late sixties a shortage of women led the Inuit to search for replacements. In systematic trials I observed performed by the Inuit (thus dispelling the belief that they have no science) they tried various religious missionaries and found that fundamentalist missionaries make the best bait. Moreover, the churches that sent them were quick to replace missing ministers assuring a suitable supply even during peak whale migrations seasons. Richard mentions the short light paddles used by the Resolute Bay Inuit and he is on to something important. No other group used such short light paddles in the upright fashion while sweeping wide away from the boat. Their skills as paddlers and their unique paddles and style would be far better known were they from a region more easily accessible to British anthropologist or BCU instructors. How did these short paddles come into common usage? Professor Klohr believes that the paddles had to serve double duty as initiation rite objects for young Inuit paddlers reaching manhood. Anyone who has swung a full length Inuit paddle in an Igloo will get the picture. As logical as this may appear I believe there is a more practical reason. The short paddle and upright sweeping stroke that has such remarkable similarity to the modern sprint racing stroke was produced much more power than the wide low Greenland stroke. Without this power, the paddler would not have been able to keep ahead of a fast swimming Baptist Missionary attempting to climb back aboard the kayak. I would suggest that the use of the paddle in initiation rites came later. While the Inuit found religious connections in so many things one suspects that, in this case, the development was practical. For those interested in the scientific explanations for the stroke and paddle's effectiveness, I believe my able assistant has done some important research on that very topic. Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.G Transcribed by his humble servant John Winters *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net Website: http://www.gasp-seakayak.net/paddlewise/ ***************************************************************************
This is all starting to sound suspiciously similiar to the late lamented publication that was the paragon of paddling profundity "The New Guru Review". Please no arguments about what class of lever the paddle is. I know that it is cold up north, but there must be something else to do other than pound the keyboard. Thank goodness I am living where we can paddle all year long. John Bartos Houston, Texas > snip> > > snip > >Professor Klohr believes that the paddles had to serve double duty as >initiation rite objects for young Inuit paddlers reaching manhood. Anyone >who has swung a full length Inuit paddle in an Igloo will get the picture. >As logical as this may appear I believe there is a more practical reason. >The short paddle and upright sweeping stroke that has such remarkable >similarity to the modern sprint racing stroke was produced much more power >than the wide low Greenland stroke. Without this power, the paddler would >not have been able to keep ahead of a fast swimming Baptist Missionary >attempting to climb back aboard the kayak. snip >For those interested in the scientific explanations for the stroke and >paddle's effectiveness, I believe my able assistant has done some important >research on that very topic. > >Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.G >Transcribed by his humble servant John Winters > *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net Website: http://www.gasp-seakayak.net/paddlewise/ ***************************************************************************
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