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From: Jim Musser <jim1717_at_i2k.com>
subject: [Paddlewise] [Fwd: Who?]
Date: Sat, 13 Feb 1999 22:03:29 -0500
Pete: John Winters is a prolific writer in the paddlewise mail list.
Thought you would be interested in his dissertation here.

Jim

attached mail follows:


My dear friend and occasional research assistant  John Winters has asked
that I post to this thread.

I was born April 3, 1939. I recall my first roll while in my mother's womb
possibly as a result of her getting a tattoo of a kayak on her belly with
the longitudinal center of gravity located precisely at her navel.

I was a precocious child and spoke four Inuit and three Cree dialects by
the age of 7. Needless to say, I had exceptional paddling skills having
been taught by the famous Juanissee. At the age of 10 I made my fist open
water crossing paddling across Lake Superior in a home made dugout canoe. I
used my father's inflatable dolls as supplementary stability with the
blonde strapped to the port side and the brunette on the starboard side.
Had I been aware of patents at the time I would have been as rich as that
fellow who stole my idea.

I completed my formal education at the age of twelve and set out to make my
mark in Inuit anthropology. My first book, Playing Doctor in Inuit
communities established me as an authority on Inuit sexual mores and is
still the standard text on the topic.

The strain of research soon forced me to shift my field of study to Inuit
kayaks and I as the first to properly define the Greenland kayak and its
derivations. By 1980 I had grown bored with sea kayaking. The Brits had
turned it into a commercial fabrication and assorted pseudo anthropologists
had begun writing popularised studies of the boats. Rather than fight the
misinformation I shifted my focus to canoes where the industry was still
languishing in the dark ages of literature.

There is no truth to the rumour that I left the Arctic under a pederastic
cloud of suspicion. The only way to study the relationship between Inuit
youth and Catholic priests is to observe closely their activities. If I
observed too closely it was in the name of science.

My contributions to the symbolism in canoe stem shapes received critical
acclaim among intelligent paddlers as did my studies of the cocaine traffic
between Mayan and Cree tribes of Quebec.

In 1991 I returned to the Arctic to follow up on rumours of the great Inuit
Crotch Dirigibles and their connection with the discovery of Scotland and
the British  by the Inuit. I point to the results of that study and how it
led to a greater understanding of the Inuit influence on Egyptian culture
in the Fifth Dynasty with pride.

Currently I am at work studying the Resolute Bay paddling style which is
unique among Inuit paddling styles and has been completely ignored by
narrow minded paddlers incapable of looking at Inuit culture as a great
continuum of development rather than a series of isolated events.

Currently I paddle fifteen or so Inuit reproductions made from both seal
skin and the skins of humans sacrificed to the great God Sargon. I can do
three hundred and fifteen different rolls and seven variations of the
paddle float rescue. I never use any electronic gear, life jackets or other
such wimpy equipment designed for unskilled North American casual paddlers.
I find the standard of paddling to be absurdly low among BCU and ACA
instructors who spend more time capsizing than paddling although I confess
that they can roll nicely

Respectfully,
Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.G
Transcribed by his humble servant John Winters




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From: Greg Hollingsworth <Gregh_at_abs.net>
subject: [Paddlewise] Who am I?
Date: Sat, 13 Feb 1999 23:39:04 -0500
Who am I (`whoami`) - better late than never?

	I'm Greg Hollingsworth and I'm in my fifth year of sea kayaking.  I
have always had innate love for the sea.  I find that being out on the
water calms my soul and sets me right. I first learned this when I was a
kid and was taken sailing by my father.  Later in life, I picked up
windsurfing and later sailing in larger boats.  I spent my first two
years in college at St. Mary's College of Maryland where I majored in
windsurfing.  I later found that conditions for windsurfing were
unsatisfactory unless the winds were 25 knots or better.  Frustration
quickly set in as these conditions rarely come about on the Chesapeake.  

For several years, I sailed around the bay on larger sailboats until one
summer when my wife and I decided to take a two-week trip to Alaska. 
Although we had never kayaked before, we choose to tour Glacier Bay in
kayaks.  We wanted to get the most out of the trip and felt that only
kayaking would provide the experience we were looking for.  We loved our
long days in the double kayak and our nights under the stars.  Once
back, I bought my first boat and quickly learned that I enjoyed paddling
the Chesapeake in both calm and challenging conditions.  I love paddling
down an isolated river as much as I love surfing ocean waves.

I enjoy paddling alone and with others.  Recently I purchased a new boat
and I'm hoping that my wife will join me on occasional trips using my
old boat.  My 8-year-old daughter is now showing interest in paddling
and when the water is warm enough, I hope to take her on trips.  In the
mean time, we've been working on the basics in the pool.  I'm hoping her
love for the sea will be as strong as mine.  She's been taken on sailing
trips since she was 3 months old. My son is 5 and also is interested in
kayaking... he needs to learn to swim quite a bit better first.

My current boat of choice is my new NordKapp Jubilee; I use a
Greenland-style paddle that I made myself.  I just recently made the
switch from a Euro-style paddle.  I've got a pretty solid roll and I
paddle year round in this area.  I carry a ton of equipment (I'm a gear
head). I live in Maryland and do most of my paddling in the Chesapeake
or Atlantic.  I hope to paddle Maine and the San Juan Islands at some
point in my life.  I also hope to see the rest of the Chesapeake, it's a
wonderful place to paddle.

Oh yeah, I'm not an old fart, I'm 39.  I turn into an old fart in 3
months when I hit 40.  Despite my turning into an old fart, I expect to
remain "young at heart" forever.

Greg
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