Re: [Paddlewise] Greeenland paddling Style?

From: <rdiaz_at_ix.netcom.com>
Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 18:33:24 -0700
735769 wrote:
> 
> Greetings from Professor Inverbon on his return from a most dangerous
> archeological study of Paleolithic Pingo paintings in the Northwest
> territories of Canada. SNIPPED who will instruct the instructors in Greenland
> technique. I submit this is the wrong question. The proper question is who
> taught the Greenlanders?
SNIPPED
> In the final analyses it should not be the Greenlanders who take offense but
> the Mayans and every right thinking paddler should object to the
> Greenlanders claiming they invented the Greenland style when in fact all
> they did was  rename the Mayan style. No doubt they learned this technique
> of cultural kidnapping from the Brits SNIPPED

Well it seems that our learned Professor Inverbon again is on to
something.  If indeed the Mayans are behind what now passes for
Greenland style, and we all agree to that as no one can refute an
Inverbon finding, then we must take the search for the root of the
Mayan-turned-Greenland style a bit further.  It is a known fact that the
pyramids that the Mayan civilization was supposed to have built were
really navigational range markers for incoming space ships (GPS was not
invented at the time) and that all that is Mayan was taught by
interplanetary travelers.

Therefore the paddling style the ACA and BCU wish to certify should
rightly be termed Intergalactic.  Both organizations should use that
term.  It would get them off the cultural thievery hook with the
Greenlanders.  And the Mayans would feel better about the whole thing as
news of the true origins of the Greenland paddling techique will draw
purist kayakers (and their tourist money) to the Yucatan and Guatemala
to learn directly from extraterrestial paddlers.

Learning the Greenland style closer to its true source in Mexico and
Guatemala has enormous advantages:

1.  The water temperatures are much warmer; no need for stinky sealskin
or neoprene wetsuits

2.  Airfares are much cheaper to Central America than they are to
Greenland and the area is much closer to Texas so that John Heath can
cut down on his travel time

3.  Greater variety of food beyond the blubber diet further north

4.  A longer, safer paddling season

5.  No ice cream headaches while learning the 3,241 different
Intergalactic rolls (the Greenlanders got a distilled list of rolls in
what was passed on by the Mayan and which numbered a mere dozen or so)

6.  Maligiaq Padilla, the Greenland junior national champion, would fit
right in as he is half-Mexican

ralph diaz
-- 
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Ralph Diaz . . . Folding Kayaker newsletter
PO Box 0754, New York, NY 10024
Tel: 212-724-5069; E-mail: rdiaz_at_ix.netcom.com
"Where's your sea kayak?"----"It's in the bag."
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Received on Wed Jul 14 1999 - 15:37:41 PDT

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