RE: [Paddlewise] was: When in Rome . . ., now: Flatwater Horror Stories

At 09:17 PM 08/06/1999 +0700, Dave Williams wrote:

>Does anyone on this list have any horror stories about paddling in truly
>calm conditions, in warm water, with no current?  I'm not trying to be a
>wise guy here, I really would like to hear them.

Hi Dave et al!
Not a "horror" story exactly, but . . .
One hot day last summer, at the local puddle, the Ms. -n- I were practising
rescue techniques in our solo canoes (a fine way to circumvent the "NO
SWIMMING" interdict). Warm water, calm, perhaps 6ft. deep, 50ft from shore.
M'lady is much more nimble than I, and can readily re-enter her boat from
the water. I struggle. On my Nth attempt to climb aboard, I was nearing
success. Wallowing, kicking and squirming, I had managed to get most of my
torso out of the water and across the midsection of the canoe, this to the
accompaniment of sundry cheers, hoots, and laughter from the audience
gathered on shore. With a hearty kick I thrust the boat beneath me. So
mighty was my final effort that I continued right on over, face first, into
the lake on the opposite side, laughing hysterically the while. Underwater
laughter is never recommended, and in doing so I managed to inhale a quart
or two. Thrashing blindly to the surface I wacked my head on the gunwale of
my boat, which had rolled on over on top of me, and sucked in an additional
gallon or so, plus a smallish trout. As a result, I found myself gagging,
choking, dazed, disoriented, in the dark (under the boat), and pretty much
helpless. I don't know that I would have drowned as a result of the above
comedy, but I was sure glad I had the ol' PFD to keep me properly oriented
while I sorted things out . . .
Now I don't want you to get the idea that I am particularly religious about
wearing a PFD or anything, but I am continually reminded that, as a wise
man once summarized; DooDoo Doth Occur! One could do worse than to prepare
for it.
ByeBye! S.
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