Re: [Paddlewise] Kenworth Pilgrimage! The ultimate SUV

From: <Gypsykayak_at_aol.com>
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 18:53:46 EST
In a message dated 01/25/2000 6:15:22 PM Eastern Standard Time, 
dldecker_at_se.mediaone.net writes:
The devil made me do it.  My latest SUV.
<< http://poseur.4x4.org/futuresuv.html >>

The devil is now in the monster-making business, I see.  Talk about the SUV 
with a "face" only a mother could love!   What a hoot!

This will slay the owners of the Geo Metros and such. I've copied a few of 
the features for those without Internet access.

"FEATURES: 
 
Fits under MOST bridge underpasses.  
The first SUV to be rated in Gallons per Mile by the EPA  
Meet interesting people while waiting in line at Interstate Weight Stations.  
When kids do the arm signal, you get to honk that really cool air horn!  
Lots of road-hugging weight for occupant protection, the ULTIMATE in safety.  
Can seat 20. Go ahead, take the WHOLE soccer team.  
Can tow your camper, yacht, a trailer-load of frozen pizzas, or even your 
house!  
Yours for under $200,000 ($100,000 for truck chassis + $100,000 standard SUV 
markup)  

MODELS: 
Traildodger - two wheel drive model, our best seller. 

Eliminator - our Sport model - includes a 900hp quad-turbo 12-cylinder 
Cummins  Diesel engine, previously only available in merchant barges.  

Fornicator (New for Y2K!) - Complete with king size waterbed (yes, the kind 
with waves), Viagra dispenser, mirrored ceilings,  and wine cooler with 
complementary supply of pink champaigne on ice.   Expected Jimmy Swaggert 
Signature Edition cancelled due to legal considerations, sorry! 

The Fornicator        

Dominator  - Who else can boast ten-wheel-drive and eight tons of 
road-hugging, occupant-protecting mass?  

The Grand Dominator - The ultimate SUV- Adds extra high roof/cathedral 
ceilings, power expandable sides, full lavatory, four cell-phones, white 
leather interior with lambswool carpets, TV/VCR/Nintendo 64, Sony DSS 
satellite, beer cooler (go ahead, drive drunk, nothing's gonna kill you in 
this thing!), and a permanent cellular link to the internet."

(BTW, they do advise the gullible that it is a joke.)

Sandy Kramer
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Received on Tue Jan 25 2000 - 15:55:04 PST

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