Re: [Paddlewise] Dancing in a double

From: <MJAkayaker_at_aol.com>
Date: Sat, 11 Mar 2000 12:32:45 EST
As someone who has been looking for some way to actually make some money 
while paddling, Ralph Diaz's recent post has inspired me.  I think the 
following businesses based on his comments could be the answer.
 
  << the world takes on a surreal, hallucinatory look when seen through salt 
encrusted glasses...and it is all drug free and free>>
 
 The Ralph Diaz Center (for drug rehabilitation). -- Go cold turkey and still 
have your hallucinations in a truly natural setting.  Heck, some of the real 
things you get to see are even better than your hallucinations.  For those 
really difficult Hollywood cases we just pair them with Ed Gillet and point 
them to Hawaii.  Talk about your drug free trip.  
 P.S. We WILL do away with that last "and free" part of your comment.
 
 <<How often in life can you feel so justifiably self-righteous and be 
certain you are right?...paddle clash is always the other paddler's fault >>

 
 Pyscho Paddle Therapy -- You don't get any better, but at least you know its 
not your fault.  Hey, and you get some fresh air and exercise. Couldn't hurt.
 
 << get somebody big and wide in front and you, the stern paddler, will be as 
dry as toast.  Of course you won't see very much around the hulk sitting in 
the front.  Have some reading material pinned to their back. >>
 
 Macho Man Kayaking -- With wrestling reaching it's peak as entertainment, 
there should soon be an availble supply of big wide bodies looking for work.  
Instead of reading material, we put a minature video camera on them and a 
monitor on their back (like those new cars with camera/screen instead of rear 
view mirror).  Great for getting young kids interested in paddling.  They get 
wrestling and TV watching along with their kayaking.  Might even interest 
some of those "macho posting" guys.
 
 <<to give pregnant women who still want to keep paddling>>
 
 "I Don't Know Nuthin Bout Birthin Babies" Kayak Tours -- Natural childbirth 
in a real natural setting.  Just a step up from that giving birth underwater 
trend a few years ago.  Expectant father's have lots of constructive things 
to do: bailing water and towing for example. Buy the way, I have RN friends 
who paddle.  I am not going to be personally involved in this in any way.
 
 << Working out that ratio of paddle lengths for the bow and the stern is 
good for learning higher mathematics;  college-bound students can rate 
advanced math placement if they have paddled a double.>>
 
 The Pascal Paddling Academy - Summer camp for prepartion for the SAT's.  
Besides your fine example we could include lengthy sessesions on calculation 
of prismatic coefficients, Taylor series expansions for boat speed 
calculation, and finite element analysis of wave/hull interaction.  We could 
help them prepare for the verbal section by bringing in "English" experts 
such as Derek Hutchinson and Nigel Foster. 
 
 << having to agree or negotiate every decision. Do you realize that 
companies pay big bucks to corporate trainers and facilitators to instill 
such skills in employees on every level? >>
 
 The Winning Through Capsize School of Business -- Put a whole new light on 
that old "sink the competition" idea.  Maybe if peolple thought it would make 
them money they would go out and practice their rescue techniques more often. 
 I know I would.
 
 If anyone would like to invest in one of these great business ventures I can 
be contacted at:
 
 Dry Hole Investments
 911 On the Water Ave.
 Kayak (oops I mean) Suite #1
 Corpus Christi, Tx. 78413
 
 Folding kayaks (preferrably doulbles),Gortex paddling clothing, greenland 
paddles,  and airline tickets to Alaska, Hawaii, or England will be accepted 
in lieu of cash.
 
 Not so Sincerely
 Mark J. Arnold
 MJAkayaker_at_aol.com 

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Received on Sat Mar 11 2000 - 10:13:48 PST

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