This was sent to me by a friend who has given me permission to forward it. I came up with the title. His writing style is quite funny. BTW, he's a cop and they don't scare easily. Although another cop friend once said he'd rather face an armed robber than a gator. Oh, BTW, he was on a CHEAP SOT :) Sandy Kramer CROCS 'N' 'TEES By S. Franklin I recently went kayaking by myself in the East Everglades from the Upper Keys. What an adventure! I was in some of the most remote areas I have ever been in. I was paddling from a small bay into a narrow creek and all of a sudden sitting on the bank staring at me is a 15-foot crocodile. Not a friendly alligator, but a KAYAK EATING CROCODILE. I had no idea what to do, so I just kept on going and he stayed put. But it was a dead end creek and now I have to go back. I can tell you I was more than a little nervous. It is quite a humbling experience being in that little boat with absolutely no freeboard [Ocean Kayak's Scupper Pro SOT]. With no other options, I turn around and am ready to stare death in the eye. Sure enough, he is right in the same place and waiting to pounce on me, knowing I must return by him. Do I paddle slowly and try to sneak by him? Do I make a lot of noise and try to scare him? Do I commit suicide? Well, I elected for the " I really don't even notice you scheme". Lo and behold it worked. I made it past him and you think that might be the end of this tale, but NOOOOO. I am now paddling toward the end of the creek with anxious backward glances looking for you-know-who coming after me, but it looks like I am going to survive after all and be able to be the father I was meant to be to my beloved Labrador "Taylor". I make it to the little bay and consider myself home free. I am now able to breathe again and that twitching in the lower abdomen area seems to be going away. About five minutes later, while still in the small bay, I am rounding a point and notice two or three large logs submerged in about two or three feet of water. Knowing that there frequently are fascinating fish alongside logs I paddle toward them, but while I am over one of these "logs," all hell breaks loose. Suddenly I feel myself and kayak being catapulted into the air and look down and see some prehistoric creature beneath me. I immediately deduce that I am dead meat and am about to be consumed by the brother of previously said croc. I continue to ride the back of this monster heaving to port and starboard, taking on life threatening amounts of water and perilously close to tipping over when this swamp thing decides to head north and fortunately away from me. It was only then that I was able to discern that big daddy croc was, in fact, a man-eating (vegetable munching) manatee. Now, here I am just escaped from the jaws of death, sitting in a swamped kayak in the middle of the Everglades attempting to relearn how to breathe again. I finally bail out the boat and am drifting south with the wind and tide trying to compose myself. You would have thought that was the end of this tale, but now I hear a thunderous crash in the water about a hundred yards to the east and observe what looks like some kind of walrus-type animal with two feet of head sticking up out of the water staring right at me. At that point I said to hell with composure and paddled as fast as I could home. What a day in the tropics. Oh, by the way anybody want a couple of kayaks for Chrismas? [Note: He later found out that he had been near a crocodile nesting area. The last "creature" sounds like another manatee.] *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - All postings copyright the author and not to be reproduced outside PaddleWise without author's permission Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
At 11:27 AM 3/3/00 EST, Gypsykayak_at_aol.com wrote: >This was sent to me by a friend who has given me permission to forward it. I >came up with the title. His writing style is quite funny. BTW, he's a cop >and they don't scare easily. Although another cop friend once said he'd >rather face an armed robber than a gator. > >Oh, BTW, he was on a CHEAP SOT :) > >Sandy Kramer > I don't blame him I would not want to die in a cheap SOT , now a expensive fiberglass-kevlar high class kayak would of been able to be paddled at speeds that the croc would of only seen a blur. Besides everybody knows yall aint suppose to ride manatees, they are for eating. Tastew a little lite bald eagles or spotted owl. :) Dana *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - All postings copyright the author and not to be reproduced outside PaddleWise without author's permission Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
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