[Paddlewise] Snortin' & Scullin'

Sorry if this isn't a "hard core" tech/info post, but a "sorta"
mini-trip report, for those of you that like this stuff..

********************************
For the last three months the Shadow has been residing atop the jeep so
wherever I go -- bank, grocery, cleaners, etc. -- I get asked some damn
fool and some not so damn fool questions about it.  Little kids, guys
and gals of all ages find it a conversation starter.  "Is that a boat?"
"How far/fast can you go in it?"  "How much does a kayak cost?"  "Is it
tippy?"  At first I was annoyed at being accosted on an almost daily
basis, then shrugged it off as the price to be paid for not having to
haul the boat out of the garage every day and strap it on.  At the bank
on Friday, in the parking lot, a young-ish (I later learn she's a well
preserved 35) woman strikes up a conversation with me, telling me she
has a kayak inherited from her late brother, would like to put it to
use, but doesn't know the front end from the back; then laughs, snorts,
and looks embarassed, at either the snort or not knowing the front from
the back, or both, who knows?   A real West Coastie airhead.  For some
reason I can't explain, I agree to meet her this morning, indicate the
front from the back, and some basic instruction.  Two minutes later I'm
berating myself for having agreed to this, then think she probably won't
show anyway.  Oh gawd, a woman who snorts when she laughs.

Today, at the agreed on time and place, Anne's there, with a beautiful
red and white Dagger.  I groan, but have to go through with it.  I
really didn't expect her to be there.  Her brothers PFD was a bit of a
loose fit, but we snugged it up some.  Having sat in her garage for two
years, I popped the hatches of her boat, filled the cockpit with water,
and as we did some loosening up exercises and I showed her basic paddle
holding and strokes, we found that the bulkheads didn't leak.  I threw
in a couple of flotation bags, just to be on the safe side.  She's
probably going to dump at some point, and I didn't feel like going kayak
diving this morning.  She was a bit loose in the cockpit, so I padded
her hips with a paddlefloat and cockpit sponge.  Adjusted the footpegs.
The paddles a bit too long for her, but my spare fits her better.  She
follows all this with comprehension and I find that she's not as big an
airhead as I thought.  But, bubbly people tend to annoy me, as well as
snorters.  Probably not going to be one of my better mornings.

Anne was a quick study and a couple of feet from the shore, I held her
bow while she edged the boat to the point of capsize in a "J" lean, then
braced and hip snapped back up.  I quit holding her bow at some point
during these exercises and she went over, came up sputtering, wide eyed,
and gave me an accusing look.  Then laughed, a mini-snort, "I know why
you did that; I know where my point of no return is now".  Anne
pronounced herself comfortable with the boat and we headed out.  I got
her paddling with her torso, not just with her arms, and we got into
some sweeps, sculls, and reverse strokes.  At every new thing she
learned, there would be a small laugh and snort of delight.  Far from
being annoyed at this, I found her buoyant spirit contagious.  Even a
jumping fish would produce this bark and the inevitable snort.  At one
point we pass two old guys wetting lines on the bank, almost daily
harbor fixtures here, and I think of them as the brothers Grimm.  "Hey
guys" she yells, "getting any"?  They grin and shake their heads and
Anne goes into a laughing/snorting fit realizing the double connotation
of what she just said.  I find that I'm laughing with her, but I don't
snort.  Never could, though I'd be a great way to annoy people and envy
thouse who can.  Try as she might, Anne just can't take anything too
seriously.

After an hour or so's paddling, she gets into a fit of laughing and
snorting for no apparant reason   I wonder if she's on drugs but can't
see any tell-tale signs of it.  She finally manages to get out "how do
you pee in one of these things?"  She finds that immeasurably funny at
being in this situation.  "Just let it go" I yell, "we'll wash it out,
back on shore".  More laughing and snorting and she replies "ever piss
in a pool when you were a kid or hit a warm spot, I've got a warm spot
here!".  We head back and once on shore, Anne looks a bit wobbly.  "Wow,
I didn't realize what a workout that was, I feel all strange around the
middle".  "Well let's get you loaded".  "Geez, I haven't heard that
since high school" and she goes into another fit of you know what.  The
boats back on the cars she says "Hey, it was really kind of you to meet
me today and I know I'm a bit much to put up with, but I just can't help
it.  I just think everything is funny!  I know I'm weird and annoy a lot
of people but that's just the way it is.  Thanks for being so patient
with me".  I reply "no problem" and wonder if that's honest or not.  I
really don't know at this point.

Having agreed to go out again sometime, as I'm driving away, I'm just
amazed how this woman has lived 35 years, presumably endured as much
pain, suffering, trials and tribulations as the rest of us, and still
retain that buoyant, almost childlike outlook.  A remarkable human
being.  I'm grinning now, wondering what she *would* be like loaded with
a couple of margaritas. That's one experiment I shudder to even
contemplate. <Snort.>

-Nick



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