RE: [Paddlewise] Stability troll

>From: "Rob Cookson" <rob_cookson_at_mindspring.com>

>Hi John and All,

>However, you may want to reconsider your position on tippy boats; if you
>could convince all paddlers that a tippy boat is superior, Canadian Ballast
>Rock sales would soar.
>

Sorry Rob, much as I hate to admit it (I'm Canadian myself), Canadian 
Ballast Rocks are now old technology, having been usurped by the new 
dynamically self-correcting Norwegian Stability Trolls. Orginally developed 
by the same lab that created ARPEEs (now brought out by Healy-Hansen) the 
Norwegian Stability Troll is small enough to live below decks in your boat. 
Once he detects the boat exceeding the preprogramed angle of heel*, he 
scurries to the other side of the boat to offset the rolling effect.

Two added functionalities:

1. The Norwegian Stability Troll lives on rats, racoons, etc. and so will 
protect any food supplies stored in your kayak.

2. For those who live in areas that have a paddling "off-season", Norwegian 
Stability Trolls can double as decorative Garden Gnomes when suitably 
dressed. They look especially nice standing next to flower-bed borders made 
of brightly painted retired Canadian Ballast Rocks.

*Norwegian Stability Trolls are programmed using advanced voice-recognition 
software. At the moment, they understand only Nynorsk, but English-language 
ones should be available by 2002.

Philip Torrens
N49°16' W123°06'

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