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From: David Seales <dseal_at_ntplx.com>
subject: [Paddlewise] Trolls...
Date: Sun, 21 May 2000 23:06:12 -0400
Is the price of stability troll chow getting too much for you?
Are your tired of stepping into troll "accidents" in your cockpit?
Are the stories of troll revolts getting you worried?
Face it people...having a tired, hungry, angry troll sealed in your cockpit 
between your legs can be very unpleasant.

But you're problems are over....introducing the new Stabil-a-bot 2000.

    The Stabil-a-Bot 2000 is a state of the art kayak stability system that 
is totally waterproof (excluding the battery pack). Gathering data from the 
73 sensors installed on the boat the S-a-B 2000 can instantly reposition 
it's 2 gallons of mercury around the cockpit as needed. The S-a-B 2000 will 
keep your center of gravity directly above the center of buoyancy no matter 
what the conditions or your position in the boat. All sensor data is 
displayed in a full color 12" deck mounted video monitor (monitor not 
waterproof) It also includes the new upgraded auto roll software at no 
extra charge. Unlike the S-a-B 99 it will no longer roll 180 degrees when 
the deck gets wet. A manual over ride has also been installed to get you 
out of that pesky auto-roll continuous loop software problem. The next of 
kin of all purchasers of the S-a-B 99 will receive a full refund and a 
complimentary S-a-B 2000.

    Coming soon....The Stabil-a-Bot 2000 Pro. The Pro has all the features 
of the 2000 but also includes a GPS link. Now your kayak will know where it 
is and where it's going at all times. Just tap in a destination and the Pro 
will take over. It sends a harmless electrical charge into your kayak seat 
at regular intervals to remind you when to paddle. Just follow the Pro's 
gentle prodding and you'll be right where you want to be right when you are 
supposed to be there. Add the optional voltage multiplier in any newbie's 
boat and you'll never have to wait for them again. With the voltage turned 
to high them suckers learn to paddle real fast.

    Note:   The release of the Stabil-a-Bot Expedition model has been 
postponed indefinitely. As you know this coupled the S-a-B pro with the new 
100hp supercharged AutoPaddler. It also included the prototype optional 
deck mounted fire and forget bear bangers. The test went well initially 
with a crossing of Hudson Bay in 73 minutes. On the return trip however the 
tech/pilot opened an ILOVYOU attachment and has disappeared. There was one 
unconfirmed sighting....just east of Madagascar doing 30 knots.


Special this week....Kevlar ballast rocks...stronger and 70% lighter then 
the originals. And now even more expensive.
    
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