Re: [Paddlewise] What is a cigarette boat?

Actually, the term "cigarette boat" comes from a) boats that are long and
thin, resembling cigarettes, and b) boats sponsored by cigarette
companies.  

The original cigarette boat was a log supporting the
Pendleton-shirt-wearing Marlboro Man in a 1965 magazine advertisement, as
he defeated a non-filter-smoking opponent (pictured falling into the
drink) in a log-rolling contest.

Upset by the filter cigarette brands, near-faltering Lucky Strike (Loose
Sweaters mean Flabby T... oops, Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco) launched
a quickly-forgotten parody ad where their non-filter ad man stepped from
his log to a kayak (try that in real life) as a Marlboro Man look-alike
fell into the drink.  The ad's slogan was "I'd rather fight than switch,"
and a second picture showed a soggy filter butt superimposed where the
Marlboro Man look-alike's log had been.

The ad wars escalated, of course.  The next cigarette boat I can remember
was Viceroy's "A Silly Millimeter Longer" ad touting their 101 mm
cigarette against the likes of Benson and Hedges 100s.  The Viceroy ad
pictured a whitewater kayaker nosing into an eddy as his opponent (in an
obviously shorter yak) misses the eddy and is headed downriver
backasswards, looking very uncomfortable compared to his way-cool
opponent.

By the '70s, Virginia Slims had wedged its way into the cigarette boat
world with its "You've Come a Long Way (the "Baby" was added later)
campaign, showing a bikini-clad vixen in a 25' Chris-Craft smugly
near-capsizing a wet-suited, camo-PFD, fluoresent-yellow paddled
glasses-wearing cigarette smoker (male, of course) in a kayak.  It was
the end of kayaks in cigarette advertising, and the beginning of the
modern cigarette boat ad campaigns.

In the 80s, Joe Camel had come back, quickly trading his tired "I'd
Paddle a Mile for a Camel" ad for a kid-pleasing cigarette boat picture. 
Within 2 months, the cigarette boat had gone from a one-person speedboat
to a modern cigarette boat - long, thin, and with the requisite helmsman,
throttle man, and lookout.

I have to confess to Ralph Diaz that I was that lookout.  With my Ph.D.
thesis on the health benefits of cigarettes, and as a real-world
thrillseeker, I was a shoe-in for a spot in the ad campaign.  It wasn't
until I failed to see the third kayaker (who was escorting a bunch of
swimmers) that I quit in guilt.  Riding in a cigarette boat is the
ultimate thrill.  When you hit 200 mph (best done with less than a 1"
chop), your eyeballs rattle in their sockets, you suck on your cigarettes
faster (remember the ad campaign for "The 7-minute cigarette. If you
think it's just another cigarette, time it."?  Well, those 7 minute
cigarettes lasted 45 seconds on a cigarette boat at full throttle), and
you're soon ready to trade 6 gallons/mile for a quiet paddle.

I still paddle, although my oxygen tank messes up my rolling ability, and
I've been the subject of more SAR operations than Doug Lloyd.  My 1999
Storm Island trip ended ten strokes offshore when emphysema ended my
effort.

;-) Bubba Jethro (whose middle name may or may not be Jed)
Alameda, CA
snorkler_at_juno.com

On Sat, 05 Aug 2000 09:47:32 -0700 ralph diaz <rdiaz_at_ix.netcom.com>
writes:
> LedJube_at_aol.com wrote:
> >     A cigarette boat is, I believe, one of those ungodly long, 
> almost all
> > foredeck, deep V hulled, multi engined, three man crewed, off 
> shore racing,
> > swell hopping, low flying aircraft of wingless design that seem to 
> bounce
> > from swell peak to swell peak with only their props and about the 
> last 12" of
> > the keel in contact with the water. With other-world-like 
> horsepower they
> > crash from one swell to the next, roaring the sea into submission. 
> Remember
> > Miami Vice? This was the type of boat in the opening chase scene. 
> They are so
> > fast that only other cigarette boats and aircraft can catch them.
> 
> 


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