Peter A. Chopelas" wrote: > I would not use aluminum in a skeg and would not have aluminum in the water > as either a skeg or a rudder on any kayak because there is some evidence it > attracts sharks. Shark attacks on aluminium may explain a rather interesting phenomenon occurring within shark populations. According to Professor Walter A. Klohr of the Turkish Oceanographic Institute shark populations have recorded increasingly lower scores on SAT's and other standardized school tests. His research has been verified by others and a ground swell of concern has swept through fish researchers. A number of theories have been advanced to explain the lower scores. Postman claims that cultural changes have reduced the perceived value of education among shark parents who attribute high unemployment to discrimination against white sharks. They no longer see any virtue in schools biased towards black sharks and do not encourage scholastic achievement. Unger dismisses Postman's theory as "liberal whinging". He claims that welfare handouts in the form of food from garbage dumping in the oceans has destroyed the need to work among sharks. Unger says that a shark need only follow a garbage scow to get a decent meal. He cites the performance of sharks in southern waters where eating humans has not declined in recent years as proof since the Aussies and Kiwis do not dump garbage into the ocean. I believe, however, that Mr. Chopelas has cut to the meat of the problem. Sharks, addicted to aluminium, are suffering from premature Alzheimer's disease. It is well known fact that aluminium is a contributing factor in Alzheimer's and the geometric growth of aluminium use on the sea has no doubt affected sharks who have a genetic predisposition to aluminium. I myself have dragged an aluminium lure through the water and observed the feeding frenzy that ensues among sharks. I have tried cats, dogs, and small children and all seem to have a similar effect suggesting that aluminium is a major constituent in these creatures. In the case of human teenagers one can see metallic growths emerging around the ears, eyebrows, and navels indicating some degree of bodily rejection as children age - possibly from overfeeding. Why, you may ask, if sharks will nibble daintily on a rudder of skeg, do they not break into a ravenous fury over an aluminium fishing boat? Apparently the additional surface area creates a sufficiently large galvanic force to drug the shark into thinking he has died and gone to shark gastronomic heaven. Large surfaces of aluminium are the crack cocaine of the shark world. Prior to the widespread adoption of carbon fibre and Kevlar hundreds of sharks could be seen lolling in ecstasy in the wake of ocean racing fleets. Here on the Great Lakes we have not had a shark attack in recent memory. Not even on a Bauxite Carrier. Scientists attribute this to the proliferation of aluminium pop cans. With so much soft aluminium available the sharks over dosed. Lacking the will to swim upstream they were carried down stream and out of the lakes. As a result the shark has become extinct in the Great Lakes. This unbalancing of the ecosystem has had an unfavourable effect on the lakes. Without sharks to scavenge the bottom the lake depths have diminished significantly due to a build up of aluminium pop cans. This has raised grave concerns within the International Seaway Committee and they are now considering airlifting sharks into the Great Lakes. The Sierra Club and Greenpeace oppose the plan on the grounds that it exploits sharks who will become addicts. Another plan proposing to make possession of aluminium by a shark a capital offence has been gaining a following in Canada. Proponents claim that sharks just don't know how to say "NO". Government spokesman Herbert Mulrooney believes we should protect sharks from themselves although he does not favour making sharks wards of the state. A very complicated issue and kudos to Peter for bringing it to public attention. >From now on I will secretly tape a sheet of aluminium foil to the bottoms of my traveling companions boats. One simply cannot be too careful. Sincerely, Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.G *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - All postings copyright the author and not to be reproduced/forwarded outside PaddleWise without author's permission Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.4.0 : Thu Aug 21 2025 - 16:33:18 PDT