[Paddlewise] teaching styles and gender

At 12:02 AM 3/9/01 -0800, alice wrote:
>I don't know if gender enters into
>this at all but it seems that giving me the suggestion to do things familiar
>to me (swimming underwater etc.) then graduating to the more usual teaching
>method was far less stressful and *doable* than insisting I fit into a
>pattern that the instructor had determined was less stressful.


i completely "got" what alice and natalie were writing about, and indeed 
i'm working on my re-entry and roll.  actually panic doesn't enter into it 
too much----i would be glad to learn starting from being in the kayak---but 
i am drawn to practicing somersaulting into my cockpit (this is IN the 
pool, guys, for those of you who were snickering at the visual), so i'm 
doing that.

my husband and i took BSK from a "master" sea kayaker .  this guy paddles 
and rolls everything, sea kayaks, playboats, river stuff, surf-skis, 
canoes.  he is supremely confident and supremely skilled.

when we had a session on rescues with him in the pool, though, we learned 
that he's also supremely arrogant.  and, perhaps more to his detriment, 
both impatient and rigid, rigid, rigid.  he has a religion about how you 
"have" to do things; i am new so i am not belittling him, but i am also a 
professional violinist and teacher and i know that a "my way or the 
highway" attitude tends to be the mark of someone who is insecure, 
impatient, or both.  in our t-rescues he insisted on "hands in front of the 
paddles!  hands in front of the paddles!" for the rescuer.  it's a good 
idea.  but, well, duh, if the paddles are a. leashed, or b. attached to the 
fore or aft deck, maybe we could loosen up about that a little??    for 
that matter, both my husband and i have a significant "gut factor" that 
impedes this:  the paddles don't lay straight across your lap and tend to 
slip out.  i know a lot of people on this list have a similar factor and 
probably have worked out a good adaptive solution.

it was hard for me when he told my husband, "well, we're going to have to 
focus on her for a while" (no one likes being discussed in the 3rd 
person....at least, i don't)  " since she will need more help at rescues 
and self-rescues than you will".  then when we DID focus on "her", a few 
times he said, "you <have> to do THAT, NOW.  i wish you'd just quit fooling 
around and do it my way".   uhhh, i knew his way wouldn't work for me, and 
i was trying to think of something that <would> work.  so, i did it his way 
and i 1. hurt my hand and 2. capsized, several times.  after the session i 
developed a variation on his way  (this was flipping the rescuee's boat in 
a t-rescue) that works beautifully for me.  DUHHHHHHHhhhhh.

the worst moment was when i was learning a stirrup rescue and he said to 
me, "well, you aren't going to be able to do that.."  this was about 
self-rescues.

say WHUT?

by the way, impatient, arrogant instructor-boy, i indeed CAN do that.  i 
bet i could have that night, too, if i had been treated with more respect.

this person, mind you, is very competent.  he is regarded as sort of a 
minor god by the paddlestore we do business with (and with which we've been 
happy), and even by kayakers 50 miles north of there where we do pool 
practice.  he is an excellent kayaker.

but if you ask me he is a sucky instructor, and an excellent kayaker doth 
not an excellent instructor make.  obviously i won't be working with him 
again.  i am a perfectionist, i admit it, and i expect a lot of any 
instructor.  i'm also exquisitely sensitive to criticism. hell, i'm just 
exquisitely sensitive, period, and i take responsibility for that too.  but 
still, this was a really yucky encounter (that we paid significant $$$ for) 
and i felt bad for days about it.   i cried a few times.  in fact, i felt 
bad til i got in the pool next time and PROVED to myself i could indeed do 
the stuff he said i couldn't.  i have appreciated getting info from you 
all, and have read a lot of books, so i had several alternatives in mind 
for each skill this guy taught us.  HIS WAYS are NOT the ONLY WAYS!

there is a book, "sea kayaking for women", that addresses some of the 
gender-specific issues.  women, or THIS woman anyway, feels a fear of 
seeming incompetent.  that is a guaranteed technique- and 
confidence-freezer.  i believe women learn differently to men and that 
difference needs to be addressed.  for instance, i like to hear instruction 
and then be left alone for a few minutes to visualise doing it.  i also 
like to watch someone else do it once before i do it (any given 
maneuver).  then i often can do it, if not perfectly, then well the first time.

just a few thoughts,

kcd






kathleen comalli dillon~friend, mom, wife, musician, violinist, writer, 
ailurophile extraordinaire
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We can do no great things; we can only do small things with great 
love."-Mother Teresa~~"I find a lot of people like chubby 67-year-old 
girls."-Beverly Sills~~"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat 
are not the better for it."-Abraham Lincoln~~"Prepare to be 
assimila-----OOOOOoooooo, jelly donuts!"-Homer of Borg~~"I am Boris of 
Borg. Moose and Squirrel are irrelevant."~~

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