[Paddlewise] Thunderstorm

Thunderstorm
According to the manual my GPS is water- and shockproof. Indestructible, you
would think. Since yesterday I know better: When lightning strikes at a few
meters distance a GPS is as dead as a dodo.
I found out about halfway across the Waal, one of the biggest and most
crowded rivers in the Netherlands. I had seen some big ships coming my way
when I left the shore and  a ferry just starting to cross. I thought I could
reach the other side before the ships came too close to me.
Under normal conditions I could have made it easily, but first a hailstorm
limited my sight, then when I tried to stay on course using my GPS,
lightning struck a buoy right next to me and blew the insides of my beloved
GPS all over the place. Totally disoriented I floated around, desperately
trying to avoid some monstrous cargo ships without having a clue where the
hell they were. I could hear them honk: I guess they saw me clear enough on
their radar. I could hear they were close, but not at what side of me: The
different howling horns blended into one earshattering deathbell. There was
no way out for a mortal.
Not for a mortal. Luckily at that moment the higher forces decided to
interfere. In a sudden flash I saw the Light, at exactly the same moment
that lightning struck again, in the middle of my paddle this time. Usually I
take an insulated wooden paddle when I go out in a thunderstorm, but this
time, luckily, I was using an aluminum one. With all my strength I threw it
away from me. Whether it was instinct, help from above or pure skill we will
never know. The paddle smashed the windshield of the nearest cargo ship and
hit the skipper right between the eyes. His ship left its course and hit the
ferry. The cargo ship exploded, with such an amount of heat that it
vaporized the rain around me. Finally I could see what was going on, and the
first thing I saw was an enormous wave, induced by the explosion, speeding
my way. I had lost my paddle but didn't need one. I turned the boat using a
hipflick and surfed the wave, passed under the bow of the next cargo ship
that sunk seconds later when the heat of the explosion hit it, and stayed on
the wave until it dumped me on the little beach where I had parked the car.
All I had to do was get the spare paddle from the trunk and head out into
the next adventure.

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