[Paddlewise] FW: Environmental Dam Control (humor)

From: Natalie Wiest <wiestn_at_tamug.tamu.edu>
Date: Thu, 19 Apr 2001 14:00:38 -0500
So that I don't get flamed for sending this, let me say in advance I suspect
it is an urban legend.  Amusing reading nonetheless for those of us who
paddle more inland waterways.  Forwarded from another list.

Natalie Wiest
Galveston TX

 The Dam

The following is a genuine hoot. This was an actual letter sent to
Ryan De Vries from The Michigan Department of Environmental
Quality,  State of  Michigan. Wait till you read this guy's response - but
read  the entire  letter before you get to the response.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr. Ryan De Vries
2088  Dagget
Pierson, MI 49339

Dear Mr. De Vries:
SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
Montcalm, County

It has come to the attention of the Department of environmental
Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above
referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal
landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized
activity:  Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams
across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.  A permit must be issued
prior to the start of this type of activity.

A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been
issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in
violation of  Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural
Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts
of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan
Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams
partially  failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and
flooding at downstream locations.  We find that dams of this nature
are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department
therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this
location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow  condition by
removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream
channel.  All restoration work shall be completed no later than
January 31, 1998.  Please notify this office when the restoration has
been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled
by our staff.  Failure to comply with this request or any further
unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being
referred for elevated enforcement action.  We anticipate and would
appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any
questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative
Land  and Water Management Division
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RESPONSE

Dear Mr. Price:
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N;  R10W, Sec. 20;Montcalm County

Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to
respond to.  First of all,  Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal
landowner and/or contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan.  I am
the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the (State
unauthorized)process of constructing and maintaining two
wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond.  While
I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I
think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use
of natural building materials "debris."

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate
their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I
can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam
skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.  As
to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam
activity.

My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or

(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to
said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers,
through the Freedom of Information Act I request completed copies of
all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.
Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301,
Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public  Acts of 1994, being sections
324.30101 to  324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is - aren't the beavers
entitled to legal representation?  The Spring Pond Beavers are
financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation
so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.  The
Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed
during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a
natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In
other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather
than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the
stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition - please contact the
beavers - but if you are going to arrest them (they obviously did not
pay any attention to your dam letter being unable to read English) -
be sure they are read the Miranda rights first. As for me, I am not
going to cause more flooding or dam debris jams by interfering with
these dam builders. If you want to hurt these dam beavers - be aware
I am sending a copy of your dam letter and this response to PETA. If
your dam department seriously finds all dams of this nature
inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their existence in
this State, I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this
dam policy or once again both the Spring Pond Beavers and I will
scream prejudice!

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build
their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is
green and water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I do
to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources
and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect
the natural resources(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. why wait
until 1/31/98?  The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then
and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass
them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears.
Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you
should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers
alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your
step!  (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to
comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your
dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your day office
via another government organization - the dam USPS. Maybe, someday,
it will get there.

Sincerely,
Stephen L. Tvedten

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Received on Thu Apr 19 2001 - 11:54:56 PDT

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