[Paddlewise] End of season (humor)

Unfortunately we are approaching the end of paddling season.  No paddler with 
any sense of safety will violate the "Rule of 190" and we are getting very 
close to those limits.  For those of you not familiar with this rule, it 
simply states that when the sum of the water temp and the heat index is above 
190 degF (90C) it is just too dangerous to paddle. This is due to the 
possibility of heat stroke, 2nd degree sunburn, and the long term danger of 
skin cancer.  In trying to extend the season you abandon all unnecessary 
clothing (as much as modesty allows) to avoid heat stroke, but then you face 
the threat of debilitating sunburn.  In as little as 2 hours you can be 
burned so bad that you become a mass of blisters and the skin pulls so tight 
you can not even use your arms (or legs for those on sit-on-tops).  The great 
protection debate still rages, SPF 50 (wetsuit equivalent) or Zinc Oxide 
cream (drysuit equivalent).  For those of us with fairer skin, neither is 
enough and we are left trying to find some protective clothing that does not 
cause heat stroke.  I have been considering getting one of those aluminized 
suits that metal workers use and adding inside pockets to hold bags of frozen 
"blue ice".   Rotary cooling in 90 degF (32C) water and 85% humidity does not 
do much good.  In fact repeated rolling seems to slowly cook the brain. (Some 
down here say a cooked brain causes repeated rolling rather than the other 
way around but I disagree). 

There are some nice things about kayak camping this time of year.  You do 
have "hot" water for bathing anytime.  Campfires and stoves are unnecessary.  
A simple square of black, vinyl seat cover (preferrable from a 1970's vintage 
Pontiac) glued to the back deck heat's up engough for cooking eggs, 
stri-frying vegatables and cooking steaks (although well done is a little 
difficult).  I wish I could figure out how to cook the food as a I paddle 
like the roast and potatoes done on the exhaust manifold as you drive to your 
campground, but I have not worked that out yet.

Maybe someday I will have the Doug-like skill and courage to go out and face 
a dead calm sea at high noon under a blazing sun with boiling 90 degF water 
and scorching 105 deg air, but for now I'll try to stay cool and UV protected 
and get in as much paddling as possible until the conditions get just too 
tough.  I can't help but longingly wish for 55 degF (13C) water and a nice 
cloudy 60 degF(15C) day with a cold drizzle.  Unfortunately those wonderful 
days are few and far between.  I'll make the best of it until the fall season 
starts again.   

Of course the fall brings its own hazards. There is the very dangerous threat 
of "WARM WATER DELIRIUM".  This occurs during the first few cold fronts when 
the air temp drops into the 50's and the water temp stays near 80.  Southern 
paddlers who capsize in these conditions find it so much more comfortable 
under the water than above, that they simply refuse to roll or wet exit.  A 
tragic circumstance indeed. 

For those of you in the middle of your paddling season, have fun and be safe. 
 For those in my situation, take care and remember that winter will be here 
soon (well maybe not exactly soon).  Of course you can always get in the car 
and head north until you find some of that REALLY COLD 60 degF (18C) water. 

Apologies to Doug, but his latest posting just inspired me.

Mark J. Arnold

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