Dave Kruger wrote: > > [Description of how he tried to make Joel overcome his phobia, without succes] First of all: What a tragic story! I'm sorry for both you and Joel, to hear that after so much effort to overcome this fear, Joel had to give up paddling! I'm not a therapist, I don't consider myself an expert, but I have seen, read and heard enough to have something to say. The process of confronting a fear is called "desensitation" and is a process that has results, but not in all cases, alas. Often it is a process of "one step forward, two steps back", what is clearly what happened. It's a pity Joel quit, since he was making progress. Perhaps the reward (being able to paddle in beam waves) was not big enough. Indeed, most of the population manage to get through life without ever paddling a kayak. Anybody trying the desensitation process should realize it's not a fast-and-dirty cure. It takes an immens amount of effort and frustration to get small results. Anti-depressants may help the process, but in this case it might be a little overdone. When a (paddling) partner gets scared like this, distracting him might help. Talk to him, not about the waves but about the surroundings, the upcoming lunch, his job or whatever. If you can, try to make him sing or talk, or do difficult calculations in his head. If you yourself have this problem, you may try to find a way to fool your subconcious. Bringing a lucky charm might help. Reassuring someone more scared then you works miracles. Talk reassuring to yourself. Try anything you believe in: Praying, acupuncture, NLP, breathing exercises... All they may do is distract you, but who cares, as long as it works. What sometimes works for me, is reminding myself that I am not afraid of dying. I'm only afraid of suffering. I consider myself lucky that I may have irrational fears, like anybody else, but not to the extend where fear controls my life. You did a good job, Dave, probably the best anybody could have done. A lot of professional therapists would have done worse. It's a shame that it was not enough. Niels. *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************Received on Sat Apr 19 2003 - 09:17:54 PDT
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