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From: Mark Arnold <mjamja_at_earthlink.net>
subject: [Paddlewise] Jet Ski Disagreement (humor)
Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2003 14:52:52 -0500
As a founding member of PETAJ (People for the Ethical Treatment of
Adrenaline Junkies) I am appalled by the recent postings regarding the
hunting of Jet Ski's.  PETAJ believes strongly that as more highly evolved
beings we have a duty to act humanely toward those less fortunate
creatures.  Having participated in the rescue of two Jet Skiers (one
grounded in the flats outside a channel and the other immobilized by
sucking its own tow rope into the impeller) I feel that I have a better
understanding of these creatures than most in the general public.  They are
not the foaming at the mouth, bent on destruction, totally mindless
creatures they sometimes appear to be.  Some have even been known to act
courteously and slow down when passing kayaks and canoes in narrow
channels.  However their addiction to the adrenaline rush often causes them
to act irrationally and create dangerous situations.  The excess adrenaline
blocks the higher cognitive functions leaving the Jet Skier without the
ability to recognize the danger and nuisance that they are creating.  Their
actions are often not intentionally meant to endanger and outrage others,
but are simply the result of the instinctive behavior created by the need
for that  adrenaline rush.  Additionally the Jet Skier lacks the ability to
appreciate any aesthetic value in nature (possibly any aesthetic value at
all). This makes it very difficult to reach an intellectual solution to
their actions.  They simply see no reason to be outdoors except to get "The
Rush".  

Difficulties with Jet Skiers are more prominent than with other adrenaline
junkies.  Rock climbers, sky divers, and extreme skiers are usually found
in the more remote areas and have less contact with the general public. 
Skate boarders do present many of the same interaction problems as Jet
Skiers.  However they do not posses the incredible speed and power of the
Jet Ski (like comparing Grizzlies to Raccoons) and therefore are not
generally feared and despised as the Jet Skier.  I also believe the pitiful
looking clothing worn by most skateboarders fosters more compassion than
the blazing colors and graphics found on most Jet Skiers.  Despite the
problems we at PETAJ feel that hunting is not the proper corrective action.
When meeting Jet Skiers we recommend trying to maintain a proper distance,
being aware of their potential for sudden unexpected direction changes, and
avoiding areas known for large congregations of Jet Skies.  Note: The lack
of clothing and certain physical behaviors suggest that there may be some
mating rituals involved in some of these Jet Ski "schools" when members of
both sexes are present.  In groups of males there is a strong tendency to
territorial displays which may be very dangerous to nearby kayaks.  Further
we suggest you avoid loud aggressive vocalizations and provocative hand
gestures as this may just increase the adrenaline in the Jet Skier and
create more problems.  Rolling over and playing dead is not seen as an
effective response either since the Jet Skier is likely to just move in
closer and circle out of curiosity.

PETAJ does recognize that certain Jet Skiers are just too dangerous to be
allowed to continue unchecked.  On water hunting is not selective and
relatively inefficient method of dealing with these "nuisance skiers".  
Currently we recommend tracking these dangerous Jet Skiers back to their
launch sites, recording their identifying numbers and notifying the
appropriate authorities.  Although not supported by our entire membership,
we have proposed legislation that would allow the "dangerous Jet Skier" to
be quickly and humanely executed by clubbing  at dockside  in plain view of
large groups of other Jet Skiers.  We feel this would have a deterrent
effect on the Jet Skier population and eventually would improve the overall
gene pool without the need to vastly reduce the population.

PETAJ does have a Jet Skier Conversion program.  We supply carefully
selected Jet Skiers with kayaks and take them on specially designed
paddles.  Although very few give up Jet Skiing many do develop a more
courteous (at least less dangerous) attitude.   If you would like to donate
a kayak or other equipment to this program please contact me back channel. 
Greenland paddles, men's medium paddling jackets, drytops, and lifejackets,
and men's size 8 Chotas would be especially welcome.  We are
non-discriminatory and gladly accept plastic, composite, or wood kayaks. 
Surfing kayaks are especially good for starting to wean the Jet Skier away
from his/her  former addiction (I do not own one so that would be a real
winner for me). 

Sincerely,

Mark J. Arnold
VP. B.S  for PETAJ  US..

mjamja_at_earthlink.net


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From: Paul Peeling <ppeeling_at_bcpl.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Jet Ski Disagreement (humor)
Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2003 16:21:17 -0400 (EDT)
On Tue, 15 Apr 2003, Mark Arnold wrote:

> As a founding member of PETAJ (People for the Ethical Treatment of
> Adrenaline Junkies) I am appalled by the recent postings regarding the
> hunting of Jet Ski's.  PETAJ believes strongly that as more highly evolved
> beings we have a duty to act humanely toward those less fortunate
> creatures.

Some confusion here. Our quarry is the jet ski, not the jet skier. Some of
us will hang the trophy over our fireplaces. Some will make use of all the
parts. Most of us have no use for the skier.
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PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed
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Submissions:     PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net
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