RE: [Paddlewise] Paddling in doubles/divorce boat as income source

"Dr. Dave" Kruger said:

I think the "divorce boat" rap is accurate, but more of a bellwether of
the couple's success in distributing control between them.  Note I did
not say "share" control. The rear paddler has the rudder.

So, I offer up my services as:  "Doctor Dave" and will, for an
appropriate fee, place any couple who wishes (and has the bucks) in my
double, do the video and voiceover, and then make sure it gets on reality
TV...


My spouse and I were once asked to teach a class called "Couples in
Doubles" because we get along so well in ours.  The source of our success
is the fact each of us is an expert in our own sport and neither is an
expert in the other's.  So, in the kayak I am the one who makes the
important decisions.  I paddle in front as the motor and Gail steers on
the rare occasions when the rudder is in use.  Otherwise, I steer with
strokes in the bow.  Since Gail can't really see where we are going as
well as I, I'm often giving directions even when she is steering.  When
we are doing anything with her horse and/or my pony, she is the expert
and I yield to her experience and wisdom in all things equine.  Works out
really well.  Just check the ego at the door.

For the class, however, my technique was to split all the couples and
have them paddle with a stranger in their boats.  The second session
would be with their partners.  Invariably people got along fine with
perfect strangers and not so well with loved ones.  The old saying that
one should never teach a spouse how to drive is on target - intimacy gets
in the way of cooperation some times.  So the trick to getting along in a
double is to treat the partner as if he or she were a total stranger with
"please" and "thank you" and "may I" and "would you care to" and all
that.

Unfortunately, some couples are so enmeshed with their emotional baggage
that the only thing that would help would be medication. I know I felt
the need for medication after the class.

Jim Tibensky
***************************************************************************
PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed
here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire
responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author.
Submissions:     PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net
Subscriptions:   PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net
Website:         http://www.paddlewise.net/
***************************************************************************