Caroline Roth <carolineroth_at_yahoo.com> wrote: > After doing ballroom dancing as partners for 15 years, > my husband and I knew that working together is very > difficult. We each paddle our own boat our own way - > staying near enough to each other to keep in touch. > We are not the strongest paddlers (see another thread) > and had been advised to get a double (for the safety > reasons mentioned). I think we have both improved > being on our own. > And, yes, we still dance - maybe even better than before Nice post. My SO and I differ in how closely to rocks we should paddle, but otherwise, the double works very well for us, and we do not have big arguments about "control." In contrast, the woman I was married to for 15 years has about the same degree of addiction to danger that I do, and likes to paddle equally close to rocks, but ... we can't get along paddling a double. I hope this relationship lasts longer than the first one did. I think the "divorce boat" rap is accurate, but more of a bellwether of the couple's success in distributing control between them. Note I did not say "share" control. The rear paddler has the rudder. So, I offer up my services as: "Doctor Dave" and will, for an appropriate fee, place any couple who wishes (and has the bucks) in my double, do the video and voiceover, and then make sure it gets on reality TV so the rest of us can benefit from their experience ... provided they don't forget that all-important fee. (A paddler has needs ... for new gear!) -- Doctor Dave soon to be on Oprah, and my new book is coming out in August *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
"Dr. Dave" Kruger said: I think the "divorce boat" rap is accurate, but more of a bellwether of the couple's success in distributing control between them. Note I did not say "share" control. The rear paddler has the rudder. So, I offer up my services as: "Doctor Dave" and will, for an appropriate fee, place any couple who wishes (and has the bucks) in my double, do the video and voiceover, and then make sure it gets on reality TV... My spouse and I were once asked to teach a class called "Couples in Doubles" because we get along so well in ours. The source of our success is the fact each of us is an expert in our own sport and neither is an expert in the other's. So, in the kayak I am the one who makes the important decisions. I paddle in front as the motor and Gail steers on the rare occasions when the rudder is in use. Otherwise, I steer with strokes in the bow. Since Gail can't really see where we are going as well as I, I'm often giving directions even when she is steering. When we are doing anything with her horse and/or my pony, she is the expert and I yield to her experience and wisdom in all things equine. Works out really well. Just check the ego at the door. For the class, however, my technique was to split all the couples and have them paddle with a stranger in their boats. The second session would be with their partners. Invariably people got along fine with perfect strangers and not so well with loved ones. The old saying that one should never teach a spouse how to drive is on target - intimacy gets in the way of cooperation some times. So the trick to getting along in a double is to treat the partner as if he or she were a total stranger with "please" and "thank you" and "may I" and "would you care to" and all that. Unfortunately, some couples are so enmeshed with their emotional baggage that the only thing that would help would be medication. I know I felt the need for medication after the class. Jim Tibensky *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
James" <jimtibensky_at_fastmail.fm> wrote: >> My spouse and I were once asked to teach a class called "Couples in Doubles" because we get along so well in ours. The source of our success is the fact each of us is an expert in our own sport and neither is an expert in the other's. [snip] For the class, however, my technique was to split all the couples and have them paddle with a stranger in their boats. The second session would be with their partners. Invariably people got along fine with perfect strangers and not so well with loved ones. The old saying that one should never teach a spouse how to drive is on target - intimacy gets in the way of cooperation some times. So the trick to getting along in a double is to treat the partner as if he or she were a total stranger with "please" and "thank you" and "may I" and "would you care to" and all that.>> Right on. A similar principle is at work between mariners at sea: very polite to each other on the radio, even when negotiating difficult rights of passage. A local exception: On a foggy night, Columbia River Bar Pilot, in response to a request from a Coast Guard cutter about a tricky passage in the shipping channel near here: "I want your vessel to kiss the beach." The Bar Pilot got his in a subsequent inquiry, which found for the CG and awarded damages to compensate for repairs to the cutter incurred when the two vessels sideswiped in the mist, with the Bar Pilot's vessel __outside the channel__ and literally squeezing the cutter into the adjacent shallows. (No one was seriously injured; the damages were in the neighborhood of a million bucks; the Bar Pilot in question is regarded by his peers as having too much attitude, 24/7.) -- Dave Kruger Astoria, OR *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
Dave Kruger wrote: > So the trick to getting along in a > double is to treat the partner as if he or she were a total stranger with > "please" and "thank you" and "may I" and "would you care to" and all > that.>> Years ago paddling WW in tandem canoes I found that this adapted very well to circumstances: "Draw please." "One more draw please." "Draw hard, please." "DRAW. DRAW." "*DRAW!* *DRAW!*" "*Draw like hell!*" The last popped out in a particularly sticky situation, and my bow partner (a buddy, not wife) nearly broke up laughing once we got to an eddy. He said it was not something we had been using, but the meaning was so *totally* clear in the context that he found it hilarious. I can say that it would have been *much* less hilarious if he had not instantly understood and complied. GaryJ *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
"A sweep on your left, please." "Nicely done. Now how about two sweeps on your other left, please." -Will *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
Your's is better trained than mine. All a "Sweep on your left, please," gets me is a "Huh?" Robert ----- Original Message ----- From: "William Jennings" <will_at_bigwoodenradio.com> To: <garyj_at_rogers.com> Cc: "Paddlewise" <paddlewise_at_paddlewise.net> Sent: Friday, June 13, 2003 11:16 AM Subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Communication Paddling in doubles > "A sweep on your left, please." > > "Nicely done. Now how about two sweeps on your other left, please." > > -Will > *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
> > For the class, however, my technique was to split all the couples and > have them paddle with a stranger in their boats. The second session > would be with their partners. Invariably people got along fine with > perfect strangers and not so well with loved ones. The old saying that > one should never teach a spouse how to drive is on target - intimacy gets > in the way of cooperation some times. So the trick to getting along in a > double is to treat the partner as if he or she were a total stranger with > "please" and "thank you" and "may I" and "would you care to" and all > that. > --Happened to be with open canoes, but I did a similar thing a few years ago. After splitting the couples into 'stranger pairs' they were reunited again, BUT not in their own boat. For a short stretch of time, then, they had to cooperate until they became comfortable with the feel of the boat... Joe P. *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
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