[Paddlewise] 14 April 2004 Correspondence from Northern Ontario

14 April 2004 Correspondence from Northern Ontario

Dear Paddlewisers:

Last evening I took my kayak out for a spin on the Current River here in town.  I had not
been in the wee boat since last summer, so I was quite looking forward to it.  The shank?s
mare shuttle went well, for none of the walkers in the park raised an eyebrow at my trunks,
despite there still being snow lying about.

While donning my drysuit (a challenge that usually takes me a quarter of an hour and burns a
few hundred calories), a young lad drove by, then turned around and hopped out to chat with
me.  He had a C1 on his roof, so he joined me in playing in some rapids.  All went well until
he lit up a cigarette.  

Now it should be disclosed that I abhor smoking.  One of the proudest moments of  my legal
career is having drafted a no-smoking bylaw for a town north of here.  So when the young
fellow lit up while paddling, I must admit that an ill thought concerning him passed briefly
through my mind.  To my shame, I thought, ?I hope he dumps and loses his cigarette.?

Well, the thought was brief, for that is exactly what happened.  He tried rolling, but didn?t
quite make it up, although the cigarette was still between his lips.  He tried rolling again,
but again failed, this time losing the cigarette.  He tried several more times, turning more
and more red with each attempt.  Eventually he made it all the way up, and coughed his guts
out, the way only a true half drowned smoker can.  

After he recovered, I continued down the river?s rapids, counting a couple of ducks and a
deer on the way, none of which were smoking.

Yours in paddling,
Richard Culpeper
http://my.tbaytel.net/culpeper/
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