Mark Arnold wrote: > > There are lots of different kinds of paddlers out on the water. They range from > Well whether I turn into the Hunchback of Notre Dame, the Last Vampire, a werewolf, or Frankensteins (or Young Frankensteins) monster I know I have moved into the category of Monster Paddler. Only the cooling winds of the falls cold fronts can save me. > Dear Mark, You might post this as "humor", but you and I know that this is very serious stuff! I consider your posting as a desperate cry for help. I took the liberty of dusting off my tarot-deck, and take a peek in your future. There is good news and there is bad news. The good news: You can not avoid your fate, so there is no need to worry. The bad news: You WILL become a new monster, if not in real, then at least in the minds of the Texas-dwellers. Blurred pictures of you will be posted all over the internet. After your night trips, cows will stop laying eggs, computers will fail, girls who swear they are virgins will get pregnant and graincircles will appear wherever you cartop your kayak. Buffy the Vampire Slayer will go after you. You might lure her into a short love-affair (she is known for falling in love with vampires) and although Buffy is just as beautiful as your previous flirt, Britney Spears, she is also known for beating up her lovers. At the high point of this affair, a mob of jealous vampires will take your soul. Buffy will loose interest after one last good beating. You will move to the Himalayas, take up white-water rafting and end up as a white-water guide for Italian tourists. Matt Broze will write a new edition of "Deep Trouble", with a complete chapter on your misfortune. In the "lessons learned" section he will state that shaving, every other week or so, might have prevented this disaster. Please do me one favor: After Buffy looses interest in you, give her my phonenumber. I will stop shaving right now, so I'll be ready to meet her. Niels. Disclaimer: It is possible that there are people who are not offended by this message. If so, my sincere apologies. Send me a note, and I'll offend you in my next post. *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************Received on Mon Jun 07 2004 - 04:53:52 PDT
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