. Steve Holtzman wrote: > Best answer to all things related to paddling that I have ever heard!! > Thanks John. Is this something you learned from the Professor and have you > been able to talk with him at all lately? I sure miss his wisdom. Yes, the Professor has forgotten more about paddling and kayaks than most of us will ever know. He has been busy lately advising the President. He authored the now infamous study on the Inuit terrorism threat to the US that resulted in a clandestine invasion of Canada. The professor showed how the Inuit had the capability of delivering nuclear caribou paunch bombs to major US cities in less than 45 minutes using an advanced form of Crotch Dirigible. He also interpreted satellite photos that revealed large stockpiles of caribou paunch in the eastern Arctic as well as igloos that looked suspiciously like research facilities engaged in developing poison gases made from rotting seal blubber. George was impressed and authorized the invasion. Unfortunately some errors in navigation due to a faulty GPS (or perhaps incorrect co-ordinates supplied by the Professor- we may never know) led the troops in the opposite direction and they invaded southern Chile. Finding no Inuit they imprisoned the locals, forced them to join the Republican party so it was not a complete waste. He did not ignore his Inuit studies during this time. Despite his heavy work load with the CIA he had time to submit an important paper to the British Anthropological Society on the phallic symbolism in Greenland paddles. He is now working on a paper entitled "From the Sambuk to the Mariner Max - Evolutionary Plagiarism?". I know we all look forward to that. He has promised not to interview either Matt or Peter as he hopes to keep the paper to twenty pages of small print. Now that I have retired from full time work I expect to spend more time with the Professor. He hates to type and hopes I will return as his personal secretary. One could not help but be moved by his tears of joy last week when I managed to bail him out of jail in Iqualuit where he had been arrested on a trumped up charge of pandering. While I do not look forward to full time work again one cannot lightly dismiss a friend's call for help. Cheers John Winters *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
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