Michael wrote; > If you don't mind, could you expand a bit on the "crotch dirigible". > How did it work? Is it the predecessor of the modern "crotch rocket" > as perfected by Honda and Kawasaki? I believe Paddlewsie still maintains the collected wisdom of the Professor on its web site but for those of you who have not heard of the Inuit Crotch Dirigible I am sending along the original post. [ moderator comment - the following has received a PG13 rating, those offended by sexual content are forewarned. - based on previous feedback on this posting ] Inuit Crotch Dirigibles 09/04/98 Brian wrote >> Tokyo commuter Katsuo Katugoru caused havoc on a crowded tube train when his inflatable underpants unexpectedly went off. The rubber underwear was made by Katsuo himself, and designed to inflate to 30 times their original size in the event of a tidal wave. << Three cheers for Katsuo Katugoru for reviving the ancient "crotch dirigible" that helped the Inuit colonize the world while ancient tabloid subscribers were calling down imaginary space taxis with graffiti on the Naszca plains or building pyramids in Egypt to focus ether forces for the levitation of politicians from office. Neither were successful as there are no wrecked space ships to be found in South America. They should have known. What self respecting alien would land where there were no bored housewives or garage attendants for scientific study. No politicians were levitated either. Their desiccated bodies cumbered the bowels of pyramids where they have been found surrounded by thieves and archaeologists. Had they only known. Pig bladders would have worked as well a caribou hides and we would all be descended from Egyptians instead of the Inuit. This, of course, explains why Muslims remained confined to the Mid- East - pigs are unclean and mothers have always told their daughters not to be caught dead with dirty underwear. What a wondrous sight it must have been to see hundreds of thousands of Inuit wrapped in inflated caribou hide jockey shorts riding the giant Rossby waves of the Paleolithic age (See note 1) on their sinuous journey about the virgin planet. Further scattered by low level jet streams, they populated the planet like so many hot air dandelion seeds. Today a few serious students of anthropology like Katsuo Katugoru are proving to a skeptical world the practicality of this ancient method of transportation. Unfortunately, much has been lost in reproducing the traditional "crotch dirigible " as it is called in Inuit folk tales. Synthetic materials, while producing similar lift and inspiring greater sexual achievement in those with a rubber fetish, lack the durability for long distance flight and often explode at higher altitudes. Perhaps this explains why there are more kayak replicas built than crotch dirigibles. One really needs natural materials for a proper job. One enthusiast no longer with us discovered he was allergic to latex rubber proteins but only after he was elevated to 10,000 feet. In scratching himself he punctured his dirigible. The FAA now requires pilots to trim their fingernails before flights. Skeptics ask, "How did the Inuit inflate these devices? Surely you aren't suggesting that they had hydrogen generators in those days." One can only smile at their ignorance. The Inuit used methane. Inuit folk lore is resplendent with amusing anecdotes about ingesting the partially digested contents of caribou stomachs to improve methane production. Unfortunately they lose something in the translation. Sincerely, Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.g *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
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