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From: Mark Arnold <mjamja_at_earthlink.net>
subject: [Paddlewise] You might be ... (Humor)
Date: Sat, 27 Aug 2005 11:28:09 -0500
It has been 99 degF for 5 days, is going to be over 100 degF for the next 4, the heat index is over 110 degF, and the water temp is 90 degF.   My poor little brain has begun to boil and all these weird ramblings are starting to come out.


You might be an avid (or extremely avid) kayaker if:

1. The jewelry box on you dresser where you keep your wallet and keys is actually a pelican case.

2. You have ever asked an apartment locator service to find you an apartment with an open 18 ft wall so you have a place to put you special " NDK entertainment system".  (For those not familiar NDK is Nigel Dennis Kayaks).

3. You have a bumper sticker on you car which reads "My other car is a kevlar/carbon-fiber long distance racing kayak."    Extra points if you added "and it is worth a lot more than this piece of junk"

4. You favorite rock and roll group is the Tsunami Rangers

5.  You mowed your lawn and found .... Oops. No avid kayaker would waste good paddling time mowing a lawn

6.  When you see a box with an "Other Side Up" label you think "Sweep, Hip Snap, Layback" as you turn it right side up.

7.  If your entire shoe collection consists one pair of brown loafers and 5 or more pairs of specialized water shoes.  (1 pair of tennis shoes in the collection is allowed)

8. Giving your kids a "good paddling" means having fun together rather than corporal punishment

9. You know all the words to that famous kayaking song by Mark Arnold titled "16 Miles" (shameless self promotion).


I am sure there are many others, but the air conditioning is finally kicking in and the thoughts are just not coming out like they were a little while ago.  Please send any other examples that you can think of.

Mark J. Arnold
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From: Chris Kuhlman <clk_at_ckpro.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] GASP! You might be ... (Humor)
Date: Sat, 27 Aug 2005 11:44:37 -0500
Great stuff Mark. I needed that! I would invite you to submit this to  
Paddler magazine or SeaKayaker.
Keep it coming,
Chris
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From: Bob Denton <bob_at_sinkthestink.com>
subject: RE: [Paddlewise] You might be ... (Humor)
Date: Sat, 27 Aug 2005 14:41:25 -0700
The air temperature is in the low 50s when I drive to work, water temp is
around the same and I'm still trying to figure out what to wear after
leaving the warm waters and broiling temperatures of Palm Beach County.

Too hot? Try paddling upside down.

Cya 

-----Original Message-----
From: owner-paddlewise_at_paddlewise.net
[mailto:owner-paddlewise_at_paddlewise.net] On Behalf Of Mark Arnold
Sent: Saturday, August 27, 2005 9:28 AM
To: paddlewise_at_paddlewise.net; Gasp_at_paddlewise.net
Subject: [Paddlewise] You might be ... (Humor)

It has been 99 degF for 5 days, is going to be over 100 degF for the next 4,
the heat index is over 110 degF, and the water temp is 90 degF.   My poor
little brain has begun to boil and all these weird ramblings are starting to
come out.


You might be an avid (or extremely avid) kayaker if:

1. The jewelry box on you dresser where you keep your wallet and keys is
actually a pelican case.

2. You have ever asked an apartment locator service to find you an apartment
with an open 18 ft wall so you have a place to put you special " NDK
entertainment system".  (For those not familiar NDK is Nigel Dennis Kayaks).

3. You have a bumper sticker on you car which reads "My other car is a
kevlar/carbon-fiber long distance racing kayak."    Extra points if you
added "and it is worth a lot more than this piece of junk"

4. You favorite rock and roll group is the Tsunami Rangers

5.  You mowed your lawn and found .... Oops. No avid kayaker would waste
good paddling time mowing a lawn

6.  When you see a box with an "Other Side Up" label you think "Sweep, Hip
Snap, Layback" as you turn it right side up.

7.  If your entire shoe collection consists one pair of brown loafers and 5
or more pairs of specialized water shoes.  (1 pair of tennis shoes in the
collection is allowed)

8. Giving your kids a "good paddling" means having fun together rather than
corporal punishment

9. You know all the words to that famous kayaking song by Mark Arnold titled
"16 Miles" (shameless self promotion).


I am sure there are many others, but the air conditioning is finally kicking
in and the thoughts are just not coming out like they were a little while
ago.  Please send any other examples that you can think of.

Mark J. Arnold
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From: Bob Griebel <Comrade_at_mindspring.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] GASP! You might be ... (Humor)
Date: Sat, 27 Aug 2005 20:26:38 -0400
Mark Arnold wrote:

>My poor little brain has begun to boil and all these weird ramblings are starting to come out.
>
>  
>


Mark, I'm not sure I grasp your point.  Are you saying you've been 
paddling from some place that seems too hot?  I thought the weather's 
been rather comfy.  On days I peddle over to the put-in most yakers use 
here http://www.chelseapiers.com/ and it's too stuffy to paddle, I just 
go next door and  play a little hockey.  Have you tried that?

-b
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From: Jim Farrelly <JFarrelly5_at_comcast.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] You might be ... (Humor)
Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2005 00:11:16 -0400
Mark Arnold wrote:

>You might be an avid (or extremely avid) kayaker if:
>
>1. The jewelry box on you dresser where you keep your wallet and keys is actually a pelican case.
>
>Busted. True! (Otter Box) 
>  
>
>3. You have a bumper sticker on you car which reads "My other car is a kevlar/carbon-fiber long distance racing kayak."    
>  
>
>Mine says, "Have you hugged your kayak today?"
>
>7.  If your entire shoe collection consists one pair of brown loafers and 5 or more pairs of specialized water shoes.  (1 pair of tennis shoes in the collection is allowed)
>  
>
 I own one pair of sneakers, one pair of dress shoes, one pair of tevas, 
one pair of NRS paddling shoes, and one pair of Chotas which count as 
winter weight paddling shoes.  3/5 of my shoe collection is water sport 
oriented.

Might I add that my Rubbermaid boxes of camping/paddling gear outweighs 
all of my (normal) personal clothing by at least 3 to 1 even when dry. 
Oddly I do own a tux...

Jim et al
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From: Mark Arnold <mjamja_at_earthlink.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] You might be ... (Humor)
Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2005 08:20:41 -0500
If you ever do a rolling demo in your Tux, then you move up to the top of
my avid kayaker list.

>
> Might I add that my Rubbermaid boxes of camping/paddling gear outweighs 
> all of my (normal) personal clothing by at least 3 to 1 even when dry. 
> Oddly I do own a tux...
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From: Duane Strosaker <strosaker_at_yahoo.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] You might be ... (Humor)
Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2005 14:26:48 -0700 (PDT)
#137--You might be a sea kayaker if you can see perfectly fine through sunglasses covered with encrusted salt and drops of water.
 
Duane Strosaker
Southern California
www.rollordrown.com
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From: Rafael Mier-Maza <silidriel_at_prodigy.net.mx>
subject: RE: [Paddlewise] You might be ... (Humor)
Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2005 16:47:35 -0500
# 5228 You might be a sea kayaker if you hip snap to turn around on bed
while sleeping.

Best Regards,

Rafael.
Mexico
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From: Elias Ross <genman_at_noderunner.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] You might be ... (Humor)
Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2005 15:40:46 -0700
Duane Strosaker wrote:
> #137--You might be a sea kayaker if you can see perfectly fine through sunglasses covered with encrusted salt and drops of water.

Or when you're eating dinner, you simply can rub your eyebrows with your 
fingers over your plate to salt your food.
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From: <seakayaker32_at_wordandwater.us>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] You might be ... (Humor)
Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2005 11:07:57 -0700 (PDT)
You might be an avid kayaker if you use a tow belt to hold your jeans up
(actually happened to me.  My belt broke, and I happened to have my tow
rig in the back of my truck).
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