For those Paddlewisers who are absolutely hell-bent (or Valhalla-bent) on a Viking funeral but are too environmentally freaky to do it, I've thought up a few ways to mitigate one's impact and still have that Viking funeral you've always dreamed of. 1. Calculate all the possible costs and pay off a developing nation. Or me. Checks gladly accepted. 2. Have a gas-fired Viking funeral using the burners from that old fireplace system. This could be augmented by an automated reverse-bailer to sink the boat (which could be recovered and sold, like all kayaks, on craigslist). If you want to get really e-friendly the collect methane from a disused waste dump or a local dairy. 3. Buy several tv sets and the "fireplace" video tapes, install them along the gunwales of the "pyre boat", fire up the generator, and simulate a "sinking" using garden sprinklers running from a pump off the generator. (This might work better at night.) 4. Schedule the funeral for the 4th of July, Guy Fawkes' Day, Canada Day or any day at Disneyland and make use of the otherwise-wasteful fireworks. The reverse bailing system of idea #2 would work well here, too. I'm sure there are other ideas out there. This is all I could come up with on one cup of coffee. And yes, I do realize that some of these might not be so environmentally friendly. But it's early. I'm thinking that the P'wiser group can come up with more and better. Craig Jungers Royal City, WA *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
If the moment of inceneration was unimportant. You could be precremated and then your ashes placed in a much smaller boat. Then you could have your Viking funeral with the footprint of a small campfire. Stephen BC,TX *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
Stephen F Logan wrote: > If the moment of inceneration was unimportant. You could be > precremated and then your ashes placed in a much smaller boat. Then > you could have your Viking funeral with the footprint of a small > campfire. Good idea! Make a small SOF, say 3 feet long, out of scrap wood, cotton canvas and thread, and linseed oil to waterproof the skin. Add the deceased's ashes, and maybe a rock or two for ballast (The one time you want to stay upright when it's hot), pour some ethanol with maybe a little of a favorite beer or a nice scotch added onto the ashes, light, and launch! The whole deal is biodegradable, and carbon-neutral as far as materials are concerned, and very flammable as well. Come to think of it, that's a pretty good way to go on your final paddle, especially if you're launched after dark.........maybe I'll put it in my will.........going out on fire after dark in my little SOF -- what an exit! -- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wayne Smith wsmith16_at_charter.net Check out my website!: http://webpages.charter.net/wsmith16/home.html *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
Craig said: >I'm sure there are other ideas out there. This is all I could come up with >on one cup of coffee. And yes, I do realize that some of these might not be >so environmentally friendly. But it's early. I'm thinking that the P'wiser >group can come up with more and better. If you want environmentally friendly, you want solar. Get a hundred of your best kayaking buddies to gather on the water around you and your boat. Each of your buddies is holding a large but light-weight mirror which they use to focus the sunlight on you, the person of honor, until you and your boat are completely incinerated. I know this would work because I saw it on Mythbusters! Coming up with a good kayak formation that optimizes the energy at the focal point I will leave as an exercise for the physicists in the audience. Mark Goff Hampden, Maine ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
Why doesn't Craig just let his buddies let his boat-body seal-land onto a Hawaiian reef with a volcanic flow? Voila, incineration done. Blaze of glory. Carbon neutral footprint. DL > Craig said: > >>I'm sure there are other ideas out there. This is all I could come up >>with >>on one cup of coffee. And yes, I do realize that some of these might not >>be >>so environmentally friendly. But it's early. I'm thinking that the >>P'wiser >>group can come up with more and better. > > If you want environmentally friendly, you want solar. Get a hundred of > your > best kayaking buddies to gather on the water around you and your boat. > Each > of your buddies is holding a large but light-weight mirror which they use > to > focus the sunlight on you, the person of honor, until you and your boat > are > completely incinerated. I know this would work because I saw it on > Mythbusters! Coming up with a good kayak formation that optimizes the > energy at the > focal point I will leave as an exercise for the physicists in the > audience. > > Mark Goff > Hampden, Maine *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
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