RE: [Paddlewise] The Twelve-Step Program...

From: Mark Arnold <mjamja_at_earthlink.net>
Date: Tue, 6 Nov 2007 12:08:33 -0600
This is an outrage.  Some people have no kayaks.  Some of us only buy a
kayak when the one we own is stolen.  I am writing my Congressman and
Senator and demanding a "Kayak, Canoe, and Boat Re-distribution Law" which
will provide for fair and equitable allotment of this precious national
recreation resource.  

I am also applying for a position and grant as the official US kayak
re-distribution manager.  Someone has to take all those kayaks and test
them so that they can be re-distributed to the proper end users.  I think
most kayaks could be adequately tested in 2-3 months, but that Mariner
Coaster would require at least 3-4 years of testing due to its unique
design features.  I will leave the canoe and boat testing to other agencies
with more qualified individuals.  

If you are interested in employment with the US Kayak Redistribution Agency
please e-mail me a resume.  Multiple kayak ownership is neither a plus or
minus.  However proof of severe kayak lust such as pictures showing you
drooling as you look at the demo beach at a kayak symposium or divorce
papers naming a kayak dealership as responsible for alienation of
affections would be helpful in obtaining a position.

Mark J. Arnold
Manager USKRA 
E-mail -  IWantaKayak.gov
Phone -  446-863-9925     


> But I digress. I now have a triplex of sea kayaks, a quartet of white
water
> kayaks, a menage a troi of dinghies, a pair of sailboats, a couplet of jet
> skis (my wife bought those, honest!), and one gutted power boat. Ok...
maybe
> it's not just kayaks that I buy. And anyway, technically the gutted power
> boat belongs to my daughter and her husband. But I forgot to mention the
> aluminum canoe (which, when the wind and waves hit the hull to make just
the
> right sound, attracts beer drinkers from miles around). I'm digressing
> again, aren't I?
>


For those who might not have recognized it

446-863-9925 = I Got New Ya
***************************************************************************
PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed
here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire
responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author.
Submissions:     PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net
Subscriptions:   PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net
Website:         http://www.paddlewise.net/
***************************************************************************
Received on Tue Nov 06 2007 - 10:08:44 PST

This archive was generated by hypermail 2.4.0 : Thu Aug 21 2025 - 16:31:27 PDT