[Paddlewise] Kayak Tours on the Muthah Ship

The lake is frozen (still!!!) but the days have been sunny and in the 40s.
This has caused some serious kayak angst on my part and I spent my lunch
hour (ok, two hours... so sue me) looking through old articles on
www.wavelengthmagazine.com. I noticed from the ads and articles that people
actually pay good money to go on a mothership kayak trip; like $3k or so per
person. Hmmm.

Since I only paid $3500 for the Muthah Ship (plus a grand or so for extras
I've been putting on) I could stand to make a nice profit (at least
percentage wise) from this sca.... er, endeavor.

Of course, I wouldn't want to compromise my rather spartan living style
while out paddling so any customers would have to be willing to make a few
changes in their own lifestyles. But then, let's face it, the "gourmet
meals" offered on these other mothership tours are not likely to be what the
paddlers are used to at home so I'm designing mine to be something else they
aren't used to... but perhaps on the other end of the scale.

Sleeping quarters might be a big skimpy on the Muthah Ship but they will get
their own aft cabin.... so perhaps my PR writeups might look something like
this....

"A week's paddling from the aptly-named "Muthah Ship" is an adventure that
not many people have had a chance to experience. Captain and chef Craig
Jungers explained that his refrigerator had gone toes-up under a previous
owner but we had a functional propane stove and lots of top ramen and
Grocery Outlet energy bars. "I don't know about you," he explained, "but I
like 'em chewy!"

The Muthah offers a roomy aft cabin for guests... well, actually it's the
cockpit with the two seats adjacent to the engine cover folding open to form
two single bunks. A blue tarp draped over the kayaks stored above the
cockpit gives the area a modern touch. We were comfy in our army-surplus
sleeping bags and were welcomed awake several times each night by the sounds
of the water slapping against the hull and the cheerful snapping of the blue
tarp in the wind; luckily, Cap'n Craig keeps a supply of hot water for
instant coffee tea handy in the galley.

We were somewhat surprised at the accommodations but the Captain mollified
us by explaining that was either that or I get the dinette berth and my wife
could share the vee-berth with the Captain. The aft "cabin" looked a lot
better after that chat.

Paddling is the theme on the Muthah and Captain Jungers (whose Master's
license has a suspicious expiration date that looks like it was written in
by hand with a sharpie pen) specializes in out of the normal paddle
adventures. There was an assortment of kayaks available to guests. Mostly
available, at least. Among the boats was a Mariner Coaster, a Mariner
Express and a Nimbus Telkwa. We got the Loons. The Captain explained that
the other kayaks were for more advanced paddlers.

The Captain led us on several exciting paddles while he told us sea stories
that might even have been true. The excitement might have been at a lower
tone if we had been equipped with spray skirts but we accepted the
explanation that "good" sprayskirts rarely fit the Loons.  The orange PFDs
were a "one size fits all" and we were pleased to notice that since all the
flotation was at the front they didn't interfere with paddle strokes or seat
backs.

If you have an adventurous streak and a strong stomach with the ability to
live on coffee  and top ramen for days at a time, you'd be missing out if
you didn't try a trip on the Muthah Ship."

There... that ought to do it. I can see the bank account swelling already.
But maybe I should make sure it's all cash in advance.


Craig Jungers
Moses Lake, WA
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