[Paddlewise] A Tongue-in-Cheek Look at Gearing Up

Paddling has certainly changed a lot since I first got into the sport some
38 years ago. (Gee, it doesn't seem *that* long.)

Back then it was pretty simple to go for a paddle: Jump into the boat (often
an aluminum canoe or a Folbot or Klepper that you never disassembled) grab
the paddle (wood) and start paddling. Oh sure, the boat was heavy and if you
fell out (they were damn near impossible to capsize) in cold water you were
probably toast, but the preparation time could be reasonably measured in
milliseconds. Lately I've noticed that it's not that simple any more.

Let's see. First it's poly-pro undies and socks and maybe long underwear
followed by poly outerwear. Then jeans and a shirt to the put-in where I
doff the jeans and shirt and, depending upon water temperature, put on a
drysuit or, in my case a drytop and drybottom. Maybe it's just age but I
find it a serious struggle to get the gaskets over my size 12 feet so after
that's done I have to sit and rest for a while before I put my booties on.

Then I get the boat to where it can be entered and launched (or, if it's a
dock, launched and entered) which has, oddly enough, become the easiest
chore on the list. Those old kayaks were heavy monsters and they didn't seem
to slide all that well. But today's fiberglass boats are pretty easy to tote
around and the kevlar and other modern material boats are even easier. Or at
least I think they must be easier; I've never had the nerve to ask my wife
for the money to buy anything other than a used f/g kayak and she's become
somewhat testy over even those. But I digress... Now it's back to the car
for the GPS, check the batteries and replace them if necessary, turn the GPS
on and then secure the GPS to the foredeck. Back to the car for the
flashlight just in case I get caught out in the dark. Back for the flares.
Back for the energy bars. Sheesh, forgot the water bottle. Crap... it's
empty. Now I have to find water.

Where were we? Oh yes... the kayak is in position to be launched. Now I put
the spare paddles under the bungees in the rear and assemble my main paddle.
I'm thankful it's not a four-piece paddle or this might take quite a while.
Even a good two-piece can take a minute or two to get carefully aligned. Am
I the only paddler in the world who can't remember which of those three
holes is the one that gives me the feather angle I like?

Sprayskirt is next. In the old days we didn't bother with a sprayskirt
unless we were doing white water. Almost no one launched in the surf or if
the weather looked nasty and a sprayskirt for my old 2-place Folbot would
have been a tent anyway. I'm sure they made them, and I'm sure some people
used them, but I never saw one.

Next is PFD into which I put my VHF (which I should have charged overnight),
check the whistle and light. My PFD is one item that's easier than those old
kapok-filled "life preservers"; I don't have to tie the damn straps.

Um... where was I. Oh ya... now I could put my towing belt on but I paddle a
Mariner with a handy-dandy cleat which does double duty as a convenient
place to attach a tow line as well as a handy spot to hit my shoulder blades
on in a layback roll. But I'm not complaining as it's one less thing I have
to put on.

Ok... now the head protection whcih, if I'm just going to paddle around is
just a wetsuit hood and if I'm going to do anything exciting is followed by
a helmet.

Time for another pause to rest.

Actually getting into the cockpit is easy if I'm at a dock (not counting
carrying everything out onto the dock) or on a beach that slopes
conveniently into the water. If the beach is rocky or has a bank or if the
dock is too high or too low then just entering the cockpit safely can be
another struggle. Then, once I'm in I have to secure the sprayskirt.

Securing the sprayskirt is, for me, a struggle involving torso contortions
somewhat akin to making love to a gymnast while perched on a beach ball.  In
fact, I've come as close to capsizing just trying to get the sprayskirt
secured over the rim of the cockpit as I ever have on on open water. One
reason I abandoned the "sea kayak" sprayskirts with their inevitable "knot"
at the rear for my old w/w sprayskirt was that continuous elastic rim. Not
that the w/w sprayskirt is easy to secure but at least the rear is simple to
get into place and it gets a lot easier to finish the job if it's wet. So
the first order of business is to get it wet. Drat, I forgot my gloves back
in the car but I'll be damned if I'll get out and go get them now. Same
thing for the sunglasses.

So here I am, ready to paddle. The only problem is that now 'm exhausted.
Often I'm so tired that I consider giving it up and going home. Once, in
fact, I discovered that after I was finally seated in the cockpit and ready
to go I had to "go" and after getting out and using the bathroom I just
packed everything up and went home.

A couple of years ago Doug Lloyd published his "go list" and I have to tell
you that just reading the damn thing got me so tired I had to go take a nap.

Once summer hits my lake this will be much less of a problem as I can just
go down to the dock, throw the kayak into the water, put the paddles and a
PFD on the dock within reach, jump in and go. Shorts and a t-shirt required.

So for all you warm-water paddlers; next time you feel the sweat running
down your back think back on what we cold-water paddlers have to go through
and rejoice. It could be a lot worse.


Craig Jungers
Moses Lake, WA
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