Re: [Paddlewise] Trip report and Darwin Award nominee

On Sun, Jan 4, 2009 at 8:29 PM, Steve Holtzman <sh_at_actglobal.net> wrote:

> The following was a trip report about a harbor paddle several of us did
> this
> morning. We were entertained by the Coast Guard, Vessel Assist, a 26'
> Striper and a 65' Catamaran owned by one of the concessionaires for the
> Channel Islands National Park. Thought you might enjoy it.
>
>
Great story, Steve.

My all-time best Darwin Award contender among my sea stories is about a
powerboater who was headed back to his home port on Long Island after a long
day on the water with his family and friends. I spent a lot of time on
tankers on the east coast of the USA and this story was widely published for
mariners.  It was getting dark and at some point the electrical system
powering his instruments failed so he called the Harbor Master at his home
port on the VHF. The Harbor Master was busy and as it was a nice day he told
the skipper to go to the sea buoy and just hang out there and they'll send a
skiff out to lead him into the harbor as soon as they could free up a hand
to run the skiff.

Instead of doing that the powerboater drove around looking for more
immediate help. He spotted a sailboat and got close enough to hail him.
Apparently he could not reach the USCG on VHF  (this was 20 years ago, or
so, and repeater coverage wasn't what it is now) so he asked the sailboat
skipper to call them. Well, the sailboater couldn't raise the CG either so
he got on ham radio and managed to get someone to relay to the USCG about
the problem. The USCG's advice was the same as the Harbor Master's advice:
Return to the sea buoy (visible in the near distance) and wait for the
skiff.

The powerboat skipper was still not quite ready to take that advice so
instead he drove off towards another boat that turned out to be a tug with a
tow astern. Again, he drove up close and hailed the boat and the tug master
came out and listened to the guy's problem. He, too, called the USCG (on HF
SSB) and the word came down to go back to the sea buoy and wait for the
skiff. As the tug captain was about to wave good-bye he turned on one of his
big searchlights and pointed it at the tow about 1/10 mile astern (the tug
was "shortened up" in preparation for entering his own harbor) and
admonished the powerboat skipper to not, under any circumstances, get
between the tug and the barge as there would be no way for the tugboat to
stop in time.

The powerboat skipper acted like he understood, waved a cheery goodby and
backed right into the path of the barge. His powerboat was run down and
several people on his boat were killed. Not, as it happened, the skipper who
had a lot to answer for.

The USCG published an account of this (it may still be out there somewhere)
and in the aftermath they discovered that the "skipper" of the powerboat had
an extremely rudimentary knowledge of running boats, had never run at night,
thought that there were "300 degrees or so" in a circle, and other
shortcomings that slip my mind now all these years later.

There were no Darwin Awards then (or Internet, for that matter) so this
wouldn't have made it. Besides, the perp didn't die. We can only hope he was
too old to breed.


Craig Jungers
Moses Lake, WA
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