[Paddlewise] New Computer Applications

Recently a friend sent me a little email that features complaints about a
system upgrade from boyfriend5.0 to husband1.0. I thought that this might
not be completely appropriate for Paddlewisers and decided post some of my
thoughts on some of my own recent upgrades:

I recently discovered that my application
"growing_old_together_gracefully1.0" had spontaneously downloaded and
installed "cranky_old_guy_1.0" and a companion program "old_bitch_3.0".

I could have lived with most of the features of this new applications but
there were some utilities which began to operate on their own. Namely:
"ugly_noises_2.5", "hair_loss_7.2", "bifocals_r_us_6.8", and "no_sex_6.9".

The support technician warned me that this was an irreversible upgrade that
could result in serious harm if I tried to uninstall it (along with the
utilities). Needless to say, I was somewhat unhappy at this chain of events
until I discovered "new_harley_2009" was available (albeit at considerable
cost). It was still cheaper than "corvette_1958" which was the utility I
really wanted. Shortly after this I noticed that "teen_aged_girlfriend_1.0",
which had up until then operated in the background, began to display
spam-pages on my web browser.

At this point I don't know where to turn. The spam-pages caused the system
to download "divorce_lawyer_2.5" and install it in my wife's personal
folders and this has caused "bank_account_4.1" to crash.

I think I might be in trouble.


Craig Jungers
Moses Lake, WA
www.nwkayaking.net
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