Re: [Paddlewise] Paddling Group Dynamics

From: Jackie Fenton <jackie_at_intelenet.net>
Date: Sat, 28 Feb 1998 12:37:41 -0800 (PST)
> From: dianem_at_sd61.bc.ca
> 
> John wrote (snip)>
> >Diane's experience is worth analysing. I hope she will not take this in the
> >wrong light. I assume she wrote about he experience as an object lesson an
> >does not object to us dissecting the events.
> 
> No problem.  I need to learn lots!

Thanks, Diane, for posting your experience here.  I am convinced that there
are probably more sea kayakers with similar stories than those who have
never had an incident.  I've personally heard many and have experienced
some myself.  Sharing them in a public forum accomplishes a couple of 
things.  One is helping others to understand that these experiences are
shared by others.  Another is by evaluating the situation and by proposing
possible solutions, it empowers paddlers with the ability to say "no" to
someone by receiving support from a group of knowledgeable and highly
experienced paddlers as we have here like John Winters and a number of
others, some with professional backgrounds in SAR, sea kakyak instruction
in paddling and safety techniques, etc..  Also, by sharing in this forum
we can hopefully equip ourselves with more solutions or new ideas.

> >
> > >Brian left us, (SNIP)
> > >I was tired by this time
> >as well and wanted to begin the passage across to Vernacci.
> >
> >Should they have persisted even thought they were getting tired? Why did
> >they wait until they were tired to decide to go home?
> 
> Lack of knowledge of local conditions, partly, and general poor judgment
> for the rest, I guess.
> >
> 
> >Does one have any obligation to a person who deliberatly persists in doing
> >something dangerous?
> 
> I wonder if she would have persisted if I had said, I'm going to Vernacci
> now. You shouldn't go in there. I want you to come with me. And proceeded
> to leave.

If you continue to paddle with her, I think you should be prepared that she 
will continue to ignore your wishes and advice.  She did, afterall, attempt
to paddle  out the lagoon without your going along.  On future trips,
you can state and have her understand that if you do not feel comfortable
paddling a certain section/time, she had better be prepared to paddle 
alone.  And if you are prepared to paddle alone yourself, you will have 
more confidence in saying no.  I suspect if you continue to paddle with 
her, at some point, you will be paddling alone.  I agree with John that
you were being bullied. 

> >
> >>We paddled out of the small bay and  began the crossing to Vernacci.  I
> >saw
> >immediately to my great dismay that instead of the typical wind drop in
> >early evening which results in usually calm pleasant evening paddling
> >conditions, the wind had continued to pick up and was crossing the seas
> >which were building behind us, resulting in big slop.
> >
> > The weather doesn't just spring up out of nowhere. Why weren't the aware
> >of an unusual weather pattern?

This is a good point.  I have learned (occasionally the hard way), that 
the weather pattern along the Gulf of Mexico is *highly* unpredictable in
late winter/early spring.  I was aware of this from a "land roamer" point of
view, but had not given it much consideration as a sea kayaker until caught
in a couple of these (ignorant, completely).   This is also the time when 
Texas experiences most of its tornados (early spring - early summer).  
Weather radios at times have not only been useless, but dangerous when 
relying on them for long-term planning (course of a day or more) as often 
the forecasts are inaccurate within a few hours.  I purchased a weather 
radio with an emergency beeper for the additional advantage of immediate 
weather updates/warnings for severe weather during nights when camped out on 
the islands.  There are many isolated severe thunderstorms along the Gulf 
coast during this time that also makes forecasting weather for a specific 
area difficult.  The best protection is to know this is possible during 
this time of year, continually watch the sky and horizon and note the 
wind patterns *regardless* of what weather is being forecast on the radio.  
Summer is the most stable, but the hottest.  Of course, this is also the 
time of year when hurricane season kicks in, but advanced warnings for those 
systems begin many days ahead of actual occurrence in the immediate area.
However, it is important to realize these systems can impact water surface
conditions a few days in advance of the system. 

> The VCKC is ofering a marine meteorology course in March. I've been
> coasting on paddling partners' knowledge and skill for too long.
> >
> > >Neither one of us liked this at the outset but we pushed out and got into
> >it.   After
> >about 15 minutes, I realized that I was afraid.
> >
> >Keep in mind they were already tired. Why did they persist?
> 
>  Looking back, that is a good question.  I was wondering if Brian would ge
> woried and come out after us, so thought we had better get back to our
> site. We could have stayed at Nootka, I'm sure.

Many people continue on when they are frightened because they want to 
reach familiar territory quickly.  People do not always act in their best
interest when frightened (like the fleeing suspects being chased by police
and helicopters that more often than not, flee to their own homes ???!).  
I worked for a forensic engineer who investigated house fires.  It was 
disturbing, amazing, shocking to see the reaction of some victims upon
discovering their house was on fire.  One occupant smelled smoke, looked 
down the hallway and saw fire at the opposite end of the house, panicked
and then ran into the bathroom, locked the door and hid in the tub (there 
was a window in the bathroom, no fire alarm in the house).  She did not 
survive.  If she had made plans in advance for such a possibility including 
the purchase and installation of a fire alarm as well as planned out escape 
routes from all areas of the house, she most likely would have lived.  I 
think it is when people do not consider or face what could happen and are 
unprepared/untrained is when the panic sets in and actions are taken which 
are contrary to good sense and safety.  Which is also why I think these 
discussions about safety here are so *very* important.  

> >>Largish breaking following
> >seas and lots of wind and slop is my least favorite of paddling conditions.
> >My fear was multiplied because I felt responsible for Trish, who was
> >understandably  more frightened than I was. (SNIP)
> >
> >Note the word "responsible". Why? Should she have forcibly detained Trish?
> 
> Hah! I'd need more duct tape than I had with me ;)

I've heard of people removing paddles or other means to prevent someone from
paddling when that individual is acting irresponsibly and contrary to their
own safety.  Sort of like taking the keys away from a drunk driver.  I think
your friend was reacting out of panic and therefore, endangering both of
you.   

> (snip)
> >They are in well over their heads now and worst of all haven't the skill to
> >extricate themselves by turning back.
> 
> This was really apparent. Very irresponsible.

I'm not sure irresponsible is the correct term so much as ignorant.  Sea
kayaking is often promoted as an easy, no instructions necessary, "flat-water"
sport.  It is unfortunate that often the way we learn is through some scary
incident.  We then become less ignorant.  The next question is then "what
do I do to make sure this doesn't happen again?"  Which you have responsibly
(and bravely :-) done by presenting your situation for analysis to a group
that contains some very experienced and highly-trained paddlers (I do not 
include myself in that category).  Some may agree, some may have opposing 
ideas/opinions, but in any case, you will have something to consider.

> > >After calming down we got back in our boats and I took us over to the lee
> >of a smaller island and around the northerly point. We poked our bows out
> >into Fidalgo Passage which was still ugly. (SNIP)
> >
> >Why did they try again after the previous experience?
> >
> >
> >>Although Trish wanted to try to paddle on, (SNIP)
> >
> >Any comments on Trish as a traveling partner here.
> 
> Next time I'm bringing several rolls of duct tape, and we'll have a long
> talk before the trip about prudence. And I won't be so apprehensive about
> someone else's opinion of me.

Some of us just need permission to act on our own best interest and against 
the wishes of another (maybe stronger-minded) individual.  That can come 
from the opinions (permission) of experienced and expert paddlers.  It can 
also come from a life-threatening situaton in which you survive and discover 
the opinions of others don't mean diddly compared to your own safety :-)

> (snip)
> >Think about this for a moment. What would you have done? What is more
> >important, your life or companionship for Trish?
> 
> Uh...anyone read "Codependent No More"?  ;) These discussion are forcing me
> to look at residues of my own people pleasing behaviour. The dangers of
> that mindset really are highlighted in the settings we are considering.

By being willing to put your trip under a magnifying glass makes me think 
you are doing fine :-)

> (snip)>
> >Here is this nice handy lodge and we have two tired inexperiecned paddles
> >and deteriorating conditions. What would you do?
> 
> I know wht I'd do, now.

One thing you mentioned was a concern that Brian might think you were in
trouble if you did not return by a certain time.  I think that not keeping
to a specific schedule might be the reason many continue paddling when
they shouldn't.  I personally think it is better to have the coast guard
looking for you when you are safely tucked away on the beach/island than
be in a life threatening situation where no one is looking for you at all
(your comment that Brian was not concerned as he thought you had stayed 
over for dinner or something like that).

> (snip)
> >
> >I would say this is a good example of a dysfunctional group. (snip)
> 
> Yes, I think we have a lot to work out in terms of realistically assessing
> skill levels and forming  agreed upon procedures that we won't argue about
> when the time comes to implement them, like staying together...I donknow if
> this group will actualy paddle together again. Brian has gone on to buy a
> surf boat and is gaining confidence with more gnarly conditions than I can
> handle. I need to gain confidence and skill and thus feel less dependent on
> others. Which will be a big relief to the "others" I'm sure.

Feeling less dependent on others will give you the confidence.  Prepare for 
every situation as if paddling alone (while you are enjoying the company of
your friends).

> >Suppose we take each incident separated here and see how each of us would
> >have responded both to the isolated incident and the entire episode.
> >.
> 
> It's intersting to examine the dynamics from a distance and through other
> people's eyes. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Thanks for presenting your situation.  I think it provides food for thought
and discussion which could help to prevent other situations.
 
> Diane, not ready to join the Tsunami Rangers

Ditto, but some of it sure looks like fun, I have to admit... :-)

Jackie


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Received on Sat Feb 28 1998 - 12:34:44 PST

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