Re: [Paddlewise] Sandflies, deerflies, and skeeters, oh my!

I have no personal knowledge of the efficacy electronic bug zappers,
however what we have, (and Dana will doubtless attest to the veracity of
my statements), is Sandflys!  Lil' flying teeth, who I recently found
out have gain nothing by their bites but they do it anyway for the 'ell
of it all.  I am further told that what stings slightly is their
questionable practice of defecating in their bites!   Imagine!
	
	My personal belief is that they first burst onto the scene sometime
after the middle of the last century, as some southern patriot made an
unspeakable faustian pact with the devil to to attempt to drive dem
Yankees northward again, during the Wawl of Gnawthern Aggreysson.

	What works for them toothy critters and toothy critters of every stripe
is:  

	Pam with olive oil!!!!  (I'm serious)

	I kid you not.  It clogs their little mouth parts, and they can't bite
you!!!

	DEET has been known to chemically fuse (I jest not!) a cheap vinyl rain
suit to the unfortunate's skin!  

	The downside to the application of an oily substance to one's skin is:

	1.  The toothy tend to drown  epidermally, creating a lovely patina of
bugs.  If you hate these as much as I do, a layer of deceased sandflys
actually has pleasant connotation about it.  As the Bard succinctly put
it ...." a dead enemy smells well."

	2.  Your subliminal cravings for vinegar and some fresh basil, perhaps
a bit of oregano, some romaine, or iceberg and fresh ground pepper is
almost beyond human endurance.

	The advantages to olive oil Pam:  

	1.  Olive oil is good for your skin.  (My mother-in-law swears by it
and has lovely skin---you gonna argue with my mother-in-law, Olga?)

	2.  It works.  Period. 

	Actually any oily substance will work.   I have a  friend who got a
group of scouts hopeless lost on a misbegotten kayak foray, in these
countless sloughs and tidal streams that connect soggy land masses down
h'eah in Savannah...... push came to shove when the tide drained out and
they had to hoof it for the roadway with kayaks in tow.  Somebody told
the deerflys about their tender,  helpless and succulent plight and
untold carnage and suffering ensued.  

	Their only relief was to coat every blessed exposed welted millimeter
of skin with .......*MARSH MUD!!!*  Leaving only their eyes so blue to
belie the appearance of a  small troop of as yet undiscovered Georgia
aboriginals emerging from the saw grass with fiberglass kayaks.

	The next trick was to elect one of them brazenly testicular enough to
actually thumb a ride to get one of their vehicles in this besmirched
condition. 

	Surely a list as august as this could produce similar stories of
misery,  betrayal and woe.
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