[Paddlewise] ARPEE

As knowledgeable paddlers world wide know, Genuine Canadian Ballast Rocks
(TM) have
provided extraordinary paddling safety since their introduction only a few
short years ago. We are proud of our product and our contribution to
paddling safety but recognize that no one device can provide complete
paddling safety.

In the search for ever more efficient and practical safety devices our
engineers have monitored hundreds of thousands of E-Mail messages on
newsgroups and mailing lists to isolate the most important safety
concerns of paddlers.

>From that extensive research they have determined;

1. That back-up systems for every safety device can significantly improve
your safety should disaster strike.

2. That failure of moving parts are perceived as the most frequent equipment
failures resulting in
accidents.

Based on these observations we then analyzed the failure rates of all the
moving
parts in a kayak and discovered the single most unreliable moving part in a
sea kayak is the paddler. Paddlers are prone to an enormous variety of
failures including but not limited to lapses in judgement, poor skills,
separation from their boats, loss of
power and even complete loss of motion.

Despite these obvious failings no supplier of sea kayak safety equipment has
developed a
reliable back-up system  for the paddler - until today.

Today Genuine Canadian Ballast Rocks (TM) LTD. proudly announces  ARBEE -
the first Redundant Paddler (RB).

ARBEES are small third world humans selected for their ability to fit in an
aft hatch where they are instantly available for use. Each is guaranteed to
know at least 17 different rolling methods and has received BCU, ACA and
CRCA instruction in all paddling styles and techniques. ARBEES can survive
on very little food and come in a variety of nationalities. All ARBEEs are
environmentally friendly being manufactured by poverty stricken women from
natural organic materials. ARBEEs come complete
with their own skinny little paddle and color co-ordinated rain gear.
Completely at home in boats with or without rudders they come fully
certified as card carrying members of either the Evangelical Rudderless
Adventist Church, The Unitarian Skeg Brotherhood,  or the First Church of
Conservative Rudder Wigglers.

Here are just a few testimonials from test paddlers.

"Not only did my ARBEE save my life but I have learned to speak Spanish
since installing my ARBEE. Thank You Genuine Canadian Ballast Rock LTD for
your contributions to kayak safety." JF, Bangor, Maine

"Since installing my ARBEE my paddling confidence has grown and I now
regularly paddle in extreme conditions without fear. I never knew what I was
missing."  Bk Tampa, Florida

"Last week my daughter ran off with my ARBEE. Now we will not have to pay
for installing a second bathroom. Do you have any female ARBEE's. I have a
son that won't let me watch my shows on TV." SD,  New York, New York.

These are but a few of the many happy ARBEE users.

For more information visit our web site at
http://www.thebestsafetydevicesintheworld.com


Yours for better paddling

Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.G
President, Genuine Canadian Ballast Rock LTD. (TM)



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