Fine Sir, I must respectfully disagree with your obvious bias with respect to outlandish claims, denoted by your website: >For more information visit our web site at >http://www.thebestsafetydevicesintheworld.com Your limiting use of an ARPEE is a discredit to your normally excellent logic. To advise impressionable paddlers to only carry one ARPEE in their hatch simply proves that your device is indeed, not the best safety device in the world, and an inferior product. Here at Tim-Win Safety Devices, Inc, our vast testing in our flat-water test tank has conclusively shown that carrying a pair of, what you term, ARPEES, in one's rear hatch is far superior. After much consultation with our Taiwanese instruction writers, my company now offers an easy-to-deploy web harness that secures two ARPEES, one per side, allowing a level of stability hitherto, unobtainable. Our previous system, which I admittedly had claimed to be the best in the world, had one draw back - too much drag. Our new and improved, double-deployed ARBEES, once given the command to start swimming, actually increases hull speed by 50%. The best third-world ARPEES for this purpose come from southern pacific latitudes, where often they even provide their own snorkeling gear, allowing for boomer avoidance and white shark warnings. Our harness package comes complete with marine-grade velcro, lever-lock buckles (we don't use side-release-buckles anymore), and two full-length body stickers which say "I am a safety device". These stickers are necessary so as to assuage Coast Guard officials who would otherwise think you were smuggling illegal immigrants. Also, due to Coast Guard regulations, you can utilize our previous sp*ns*ns by attaching one each to each ARPEE, thereby meeting the requirement for personal floatation. Take my word for it, this *is* the best safety device on the market. All others are obsolete, and utterly useless. You can visit my web site at: >http://www.absolutleythebestsafetydevicesintheworld.com Yours in safety, Timmy *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List Submissions: paddlewise_at_lists.intelenet.net Subscriptions: paddlewise-request_at_lists.intelenet.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************Received on Fri Oct 01 1999 - 11:12:21 PDT
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