[Paddlewise] Mates and Children (was "Inactive Mates")

While reading this thread on "inactive" spouses, I guess I'm one of 
the lucky guys, but I also think its unfair just to blame the 
spouses.

My courtship of my soulmate of 20 years (OK, we've only been married 
for 17 of them . . .) consisted of winter camping trips in the 
Adirondacks, Backpacking in the Canadian Rockies (as my 
grandmother-in-law used to say, we just took our honeymoon before we 
got married) and rowing and sailing a homebuilt dory from Lake 
Champlain to Cape Cod via the Champlain Canal and Hudson River.  
After we were married two years, we canoed the South Nahanni River 
together, three weeks in the wilderness.   And those moonlit cross 
country skiing ventures after the metropolitan snowstorms!   When 
Robin's OB GYN told her it was time to give up downhill skiing 
because it was her fourth month of pregnancy, we went cross country 
skiing and winter camping to Avalanche Lake (not sure that's really 
what the Dr. had in mind!).

Turned out that was our last winter camping trip alone together for 
eleven years.  Some of you may not have noticed, but it gets a little 
tougher to go on high adventure with small children.  Sure, we 
dragged our one year old up several high peaks in a backpack, and 
have made our annual week long canoe camping trip without fail.  When 
Justin got to be seven, we dragged him up to the Adirondacks on a 
mild long weekend after a heavy snow for some "winter" camping (he 
had  a blast; the temperature never got below freezing that night, he 
floated on the soft deep snow on XC skis while we sank).  Then his 
sister was born . . . 

So, over the past decade or so, most of my best wilderness trips 
have been without my spouse.  But that's not her fault!  Its hard to 
find overnight babysitting, and besides, since we both work we feel 
too guilty to abandon our kids to strangers on weekends too.  Last 
February, Robin and I finally got another winter camping overnight 
in by leaving the kids with their aunt in Albany.  But most of the 
time, I sneak in my kayak paddling by working it into my morning 
commute (that's another story . . .) and steal winter camping 
weekends with my brother (who unfortunately is also about to be a dad 
. . .) and my son (now 12).  Unfortunately I have this funny feeling 
that the year my son starts to keep up with me on skis will be the 
year he starts refusing to be seen with me . . . even deep in the 
woods, and by the time he's ready to go ski camping with his Dad 
again, it will be me that has trouble keeping up with him.  Ah well, 
there's always my daughter (now 5) who loves to go camping and will 
make a great catch for some outdoorsy guy someday . . .  (She'll 
probably elope with one of those spookily incompetent guys in a 
cigarette boat . . .).

Don't worry -- Robin gets her licks in to, since she travels on 
business much more than I do, and I have played Mr Mom while Robin 
spent several consecutive field seasons in the Antarctic . . .

While family canoe camping is a blast, I still havent figured a way 
to take the kids real sea kayaking safely.  When I get that blue 
water feeling we all pile into our sailboat (as long as there is no 
little league or soccer game or junior sailing regatta or birthday 
party going on . . .)

So, how many of you guys complaining about inactive spouses have 
somehow forgotten to mention that someone had to stay home with the 
kids while we all had our wilderness fun?


Just rambling . . .


Professor Karl S. Coplan
Pace Environmental Litigation Clinic, Inc.
78 North Broadway
White Plains, N.Y.  10603
kcoplan_at_genesis.law.pace.edu
(914) 422-4343
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