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From: Richard Kemmer <rkemmer_at_home.com>
subject: [Paddlewise] In support of little cars. . .
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 15:29:13 -0600
.


Huck wrote:





>   I recently sold my 85' full size Chevy Pickup for a Metro.





I empathize.  Once upon a time, I purchased a 1957 BMW Isetta -- the ultimate
in small cars (or was it a motorcycle?).  60 mpg.   Max 40 mph, at which speed
it was similar to riding in a coffee grinder.  I was the ultimate reverse
snob, although Cadillacs and trucks instilled appropriate humility by taking
deliberate aim and inflicting consummate terror.  13 HP doesn't give you much
oomph to get out of the way!  I have often wondered if all those nemeses went
on to purchase power boats and jet skis.





For carrying canoes and kayaks, the smallest I ever used was an '81 Dodge Omni
O24 Miser -- 40 mpg.  Great little car, although a gust of wind caught my
canoe and set me into a parallel lane on one occasion.  Another time, I had to
have my passenger get out and push to escape a muddy incline. 





Best all-around vehicle ever was my 4-cyl '89 Plymouth Voyager, which carried
canoes and kayaks all over the country for 11 trouble-free years and 158,000
miles.  Took out the back seat and put in a box for gear that also functioned
as a bed.  Slept at put-ins and even spent two months living in the van at
archaeological field school.  Rain gutters with Yakima racks were a safe,
solid carrying system.  Gads, I miss that car.  Based on a good experience, I
think anyone looking for a "beater" to carry kayaks would do well to seek out
the first generation Voyager.





But I would definitely be tempted by a Metro!


Rick





Rick 





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From: Gary Tabor <ratracer_at_rust.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] In support of little cars. . .
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 17:37:29 -0500
> >   I recently sold my 85' full size Chevy Pickup for a Metro.
>
> snip >
>
> I empathize.  Once upon a time, I purchased a 1957 BMW Isetta
>
> snip >

Somewhere in the Yakima website/catalog is a pic of a sea kayak carried by a
Honda AZ600 (Honda Car) ... ya know, the liggle beezers with the 2 cylinder
motorcycle engine?  Gadz, what a vision it would make if there were THREE
'yaks, one being a Pygmy triple, mounted on top a one a them beer cans on 72
inch bars!

Oy ... the mind boggles

Which would be the true "Pygmy"?

Say, I still have a coupla the 600's around my place ... hmmm ...

Gary

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From: <dldecker_at_se.mediaone.net>
subject: [Paddlewise] Kenworth Pilgrimage! The ultimate SUV
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 18:04:32 -0500
Well the devil made me do it:)my next SUV
http://poseur.4x4.org/futuresuv.html
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From: <Gypsykayak_at_aol.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Kenworth Pilgrimage! The ultimate SUV
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 18:53:46 EST
In a message dated 01/25/2000 6:15:22 PM Eastern Standard Time, 
dldecker_at_se.mediaone.net writes:
The devil made me do it.  My latest SUV.
<< http://poseur.4x4.org/futuresuv.html >>

The devil is now in the monster-making business, I see.  Talk about the SUV 
with a "face" only a mother could love!   What a hoot!

This will slay the owners of the Geo Metros and such. I've copied a few of 
the features for those without Internet access.

"FEATURES: 
 
Fits under MOST bridge underpasses.  
The first SUV to be rated in Gallons per Mile by the EPA  
Meet interesting people while waiting in line at Interstate Weight Stations.  
When kids do the arm signal, you get to honk that really cool air horn!  
Lots of road-hugging weight for occupant protection, the ULTIMATE in safety.  
Can seat 20. Go ahead, take the WHOLE soccer team.  
Can tow your camper, yacht, a trailer-load of frozen pizzas, or even your 
house!  
Yours for under $200,000 ($100,000 for truck chassis + $100,000 standard SUV 
markup)  

MODELS: 
Traildodger - two wheel drive model, our best seller. 

Eliminator - our Sport model - includes a 900hp quad-turbo 12-cylinder 
Cummins  Diesel engine, previously only available in merchant barges.  

Fornicator (New for Y2K!) - Complete with king size waterbed (yes, the kind 
with waves), Viagra dispenser, mirrored ceilings,  and wine cooler with 
complementary supply of pink champaigne on ice.   Expected Jimmy Swaggert 
Signature Edition cancelled due to legal considerations, sorry! 

The Fornicator        

Dominator  - Who else can boast ten-wheel-drive and eight tons of 
road-hugging, occupant-protecting mass?  

The Grand Dominator - The ultimate SUV- Adds extra high roof/cathedral 
ceilings, power expandable sides, full lavatory, four cell-phones, white 
leather interior with lambswool carpets, TV/VCR/Nintendo 64, Sony DSS 
satellite, beer cooler (go ahead, drive drunk, nothing's gonna kill you in 
this thing!), and a permanent cellular link to the internet."

(BTW, they do advise the gullible that it is a joke.)

Sandy Kramer
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From: <Phlopz_at_aol.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Kenworth Pilgrimage! The ultimate SUV
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 20:15:53 EST
I got into the driver's seat in a Ford Excursion at the Detroit auto show.  
It is like being in a motor home.

And don't expect to get a discount or a quick delivery.

bob phillips
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From: Bob Volin <bobvolin_at_bestweb.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Kenworth Pilgrimage! The ultimate SUV
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 21:37:33 -0500
Great machines, but do they come with pulley systems to get the boats up on
the racks?


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From: <LedJube_at_aol.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Kenworth Pilgrimage! The ultimate SUV
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 22:59:51 EST
In a message dated 1/26/00 12:07:08 AM, Gypsykayak_at_aol.com writes:

<< (BTW, they do advise the gullible that it is a joke.) >>

I suspect the copy is the only joke.  The vehicle if most likely real.  Just 
the newest high tech tractor for the long haulers.

Jed

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From: <dldecker_at_se.mediaone.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Kenworth Pilgrimage! The ultimate SUV
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 23:49:34 -0500
At 10:59 PM 1/25/00 EST, you wrote:
>In a message dated 1/26/00 12:07:08 AM, Gypsykayak_at_aol.com writes:
>
><< (BTW, they do advise the gullible that it is a joke.) >>
>
>I suspect the copy is the only joke.  The vehicle if most likely real.  Just 
>the newest high tech tractor for the long haulers.
>
>Jed
>


WHAT!! a joke, well then I guess then I will have to keep my Dodge Power
wagon 10 cylinder, 3/4 ton, 4X4, extended cab pickemup truck as my yak
hauler. Heck I have to use a ladder just to get in , so it doubles as a way
to get the yak on top too. I did not want one of those punky little SUV
type vehicles. Boy I was wanting some thing bigger. Durn it.

Dana
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From: Wes Boyd <boydwe_at_dmci.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Kenworth Pilgrimage! The ultimate SUV
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 18:02:16
At 06:04 PM 1/25/00 -0500, dldecker_at_se.mediaone.net wrote:
>Well the devil made me do it:)my next SUV
>http://poseur.4x4.org/futuresuv.html

Looks perfectly reasonable to me, so long as you get the cherry picker
attachment to load kayaks on the roof racks.

-- Wes

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From: Larry Bliven <foxhill_at_shore.intercom.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Kenworth Pilgrimage! The ultimate SUV
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 19:38:48 -0500
i put in a request for a Pink Panther model VR34 with optional boat rack and
satellite dish, naturally i choose the *Woody* and *carbon-fiber* packages.

What a deal!! can't wait to see the reply from the online order.
thanks for the tip Dana.

bye bye bliven


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From: Shawn W. Baker <baker_at_montana.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Kenworth Pilgrimage! The ultimate SUV
Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2000 11:28:14 -0700
Nope, they're all cleverly photo-edited fakes.  I "drew" the picture of
the Fornicator, as well as the Peterbilt Crusaders and the International
Himalaya. 

I wouldn't be surprised, though, if the Nascar teams adopt such luxury
haulers to drive from race to race.

I do have to agree with the designers of the website in that probably
90% of all SUV's sold are for looking good while driving to the mall or
to soccer practice.  There are people who need a large, 4wd vehicle, but
those folks are usually driving old beater 4wd pickups with rusty
doors.  Leather seats in 4wd vehicles seem highly ironic to me.

Shawn

Jed wrote:
>I suspect the copy is the only joke.  The vehicle if most likely real.  Just 
>the newest high tech tractor for the long haulers.

-- 
Shawn W. Baker          0                                    46°53'N
© 1999            ____©/______                              114°06'W
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^\  ,/      /~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
baker_at_montana.com    0        http://www.missoulaconcrete.com/shawn/
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