Over a glass of rather unimpressive Portuguese plonk, John Winters, told me about the re-emergence of the "to wear" or "not to wear" the life jacket thread. It reminded me of something that happened this summer. Normally I don't get to paddle much in the sunny south of the Great Lakes. Much too busy studying kayaking in the Arctic. Coincidentally, as the ice wet out in Cape Dorset this summer I asked Tommy Takpani why he never wore a life jacket. He said," My father never wore a life jacket, his father never wore a lifejacket, his father never wore a lifejacket and his father never wore a lifejacket. If not wearing a lifejacket was so dangerous, would I be hear to tell you I never wore one?. Anyway, I digress. The story I wanted to tell has to do with when I got back to the museum in the Big Smoke and Bobby, one of the museum secretarial pool, asked me if I would go on a kayak trip with some of the staff that weekend. I tried to beg off but they insisted that they would never get the chance to paddle with such a knowledgeable paddler. How could I resist? Saturday dawned bright and warm at Snug Harbour where we unloaded our boats (I will never get used to the plastic smell - nothing near so delightful as the smell of well rubbed seal fat into a tightly stretched skin) and began stowing our gear. We then launched into the cool waters of Georgian Bay. Just as I started to clamber aboard, Kevin, the titular leader tapped me on the shoulder. "Don't forget to put on your lifejacket", he said. "My what?" I responded. "Your life jacket. We always wear them." "But its hot, and the only wind this morning came from a flatulent fisherman." "No matter, it's a rule." Well, when in Rome ..... so I put the thing on and confess I look rather good in day-glo orange. As I said, it was hot day and I sweated profusely. If I had put the jacket around my butt I would have floated out of the cockpit. Nevertheless, we made it to camp and as we unloaded, one couple stripped and went for a plunge in the lake. Perhaps I am a bit compulsive about rules but when I saw this I leapt to the call of logic and safety. I re-launched my kayak, paddled out to them and grabbing them by the hair stuffed their heads under the aft bungies. Of course, like any drowning person they were panicky and began to struggle. A quick slap of the paddle to Ted's groin subdued him. Karen took a bit more effort and I had to sooth her with sweet words of encouragement. In due course and a few more whacks to Ted's head I got them back to shore and up on a dry rock. There I gave Karen mouth-to-mouth resuscitation using techniques I learned from Inuit women. Her moans of gratitude told me her life was out of danger. Fortunately Ted came around on his own. Some members of the group said I acted precipitously and that there was nothing wrong with swimming without a life jacket but I explained that, if it is unsafe to sit in a large floating object with sufficient positive floatation to keep a fledgling internet company afloat then it sure as heck wasn't safe to swim without one. No matter what one's believes, one has to act consistently. They weren't happy but had to agree with the logic. Some additional good came of the whole thing. Karen, keen to learn all I could teach her about life saving and safety, would meet me each evening for instruction in genuine Inuit mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. She was particularly intrigued by my method of clearing the airway with my tongue. Incidentally, Genuine Canadian Ballast Rocks (TM) will soon introduce their PBR's (Personal Ballast Rocks.). Attaching them to your feet will keep your head up without the constricting and uncomfortable collars seen on most approved life jackets. Full details coming to your computer soon. Respectfully, Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.G As transcribed by Dr. Inverbon's loyal assistant, John Winters *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - All postings copyright the author and not to be reproduced/forwarded outside PaddleWise without author's permission Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
John: Thank you for sharing Dr. Inverbon's brilliant observations on important things in life. And all without the aid of modern medicine. Fred At 07:43 AM 8/22/2000 -0400, John Winters wrote: >Respectfully, > >Dr. Peregrine Inverbon, Ph.d., DD, LL.d, Ph.G > >As transcribed by Dr. Inverbon's loyal assistant, John Winters *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - All postings copyright the author and not to be reproduced/forwarded outside PaddleWise without author's permission Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
I'm one of those people who paddle in a hot climate and sometimes do not wear a life jacket. I've also paddled in the Boundary Waters without it. But... I feel I only have free choice when I'm paddling alone or with very responsible friends on non-organized trips. I NEVER go without a life jacket (and I float like a cork) when I'm leading a trip or on a formal trip. And I demand life jackets of all who are with me - this is by club law and by my personal rules. I can help rescue better when I wear a life jacket and the person who needs rescue can be rescued easier with a life jacket. Marilyn Kircus *************************************************************************** PaddleWise Paddling Mailing List - Any opinions or suggestions expressed here are solely those of the writer(s). You must assume the entire responsibility for reliance upon them. All postings copyright the author. Submissions: PaddleWise_at_PaddleWise.net Subscriptions: PaddleWise-request_at_PaddleWise.net Website: http://www.paddlewise.net/ ***************************************************************************
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