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From: <JSpinner_at_aol.com>
subject: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2001 19:15:52 EST
In a message dated 3/14/01 2:20:27 PM, owner-paddlewise_at_paddlewise.net writes:

<< When I was a kid we used go to a campground/marina in the Sacramento/San 
Joaquin river delta.  Next to the two lane boat ramp they had built some 
bleachers where one could watch people load their power boats after a long 
day of
drinking beer.  It was highly entertaining.  >>

Reminds me of when they still did drivers' tests on real streets. My dad and 
I were waiting for my husband to take his written test. We were sitting on a 
stoop along the road where the parallel parking tests were going on. There 
was a 12' wide sidewalk with No Parking signs on the wall. We watched as one 
person managed to jump the curb and take a sign down! The next person jumped 
the curb and got the two passanger-side wheels up on the curb before the 
tester exited the car "in a hurry."
    We laughed until we cried. These were both students of the local driving 
school!
    To keep this OT, the most creative exits I've seen have been Woody's. The 
bigger the audience of kids, the more creative he 'was' (he has lost some 
creativity with experience). My favorite was just for me, though. There was a 
boat wake of some force and he wanted to see if he could get in with the wake 
slapping around. He got astride the boat, which then it bucked. The next 
thing I could see was his feet sticking up in the air with the paddle sinking 
into the surf. I guess you had to be there but I was flattered that he'd do 
such a performance just for me 8^)
    I'd love to hear some of the more "interesting" stories others have. I 
get a kick out of seeing that others can embarrass themselves as well as I 
can.

Joan Spinner

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From: ralph diaz <rdiaz_at_ix.netcom.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2001 23:00:53 -0500
----- Original Message -----
From: <JSpinner_at_aol.com>

>     I'd love to hear some of the more "interesting" stories others have. I
> get a kick out of seeing that others can embarrass themselves as well as I
> can.

It was about 10 years ago and I was organizing a mini-symposium for folding
kayaks on a small pond in Connecticut that leads to Long Island Sound.  A
fellow offered using his house and property for the event and I went to
check it out for feasibility (I only expect a couple of dozen people for the
eventual event, so I didn't need much really).

He suggested we go paddling and try out his small dock's suitablilty for
getting boats into the water for the event.  It was a little larger than a
door or two nailed together and totally free floating, i.e. not secured by
posts, just lines to the shore.  I made my Klepper single on land, dropped
it into the water.  Just to show him the stability of the Klepper, I decided
to just step into it from the dock, something that I have done quite easily
from other docks...the boat is that stable.  But I hadn't counted on that
old principle in physics that "for every action there is a reaction."  As I
stepped off the dock, my trailing foot pushed the dock away.  I lost my
balance. My other foot planted itself firmly into the boat but my body was
now in full flight and I went clear over the boat and into the drink on the
other side.  There I was underwater trying to figure out what had happened
and not wanting to surface out of sheer embarassment.  When I finally came
up and pulled myself back on to the dock, the fellow asked "Ralph, is that
how you usually launch?"

ralph diaz
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ralph Diaz . . . Folding Kayaker newsletter
PO Box 0754, New York, NY 10024
Tel: 212-724-5069; E-mail: rdiaz_at_ix.netcom.com
"Where's your sea kayak?"----"It's in the bag."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------


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From: Blaauw, Niels <nblaauw_at_foxboro.com>
subject: RE: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2001 04:05:13 -0500
Just for the fun of it:

Some time ago (in summer) I took my brother Menno and his wifer Roberta for
a day of paddling in the Biesbosch, a dutch river delta. Menno and Roberta
were paddling a double, foldable Pouch, about 1 meter wide.

Roberta was the first to go in. We passed under a fallen tree. There was
space enough, all you had to do was duck, but Roberta wasn't sure about
that. She preferred getting out of the boat and wading under the tree.
According to her there was only 30 centimeters of water. I didn't mention
there was also 70 centimeters of mud: If I had said that, we never would
have passed the tree. So Roberta took off her shoes, pulled her trousers up
to her knees, and went down to her armpits. Strike one!

Menno was next, while trying to enter the boat from a muddy shore. The boat
drifted away while he was getting in. He ended up with his but in the mud,
his back and head leaning against the shore, his feet in the boat. Although
he was completely soaked and covered with mud, he managed to keep his feet
dry!

----------------------------------------------

When paddling with my club in Holland, I usually get out of my boat as fast
as possible, so I can get my photo camera and get ready to shoot the others
getting out of their boats. Not only does it get great shots, it is also an
excellent way to force others to improve their entries and exits. It seems
the embaressment of being photographed while making a mistake is far worse
then having to swim, even in the middle of winter. Funny race, Mankind...

Niels.
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From: Beverly M <beverly-m_at_yahoo.com>
subject: RE: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2001 04:53:06 -0800 (PST)
I paddle a canoe, not a kayak, but unplanned swims are
not exclusivly a kayak thing.

I was on my favorite river, the Mullica, which is
narrw, winding and has trees down that block the
entire river. The tree was an old cedar with the
remnants of some branches weathered off in the form of
short spikes. 
I was in a narrow solo canoe with camping gear so
ducking down and "limboing" the log was out. The boat
was going under, but I had to go over.

I got the boat half way under and climbed over the
log. As I got back into the boat the hem of my tennis
skirt snagged on one of the branch remnants. I lost my
balance and fell backwards, not quite into the canoe.
My butt hit the gunwale and the boat slid right out
from under me. I was partly in the water hanging by
the skirt with the waistband halfway up my ribcage and
my PFD shoved up so the zipper was in front of my
face. Before I could react, the buttons gave out and I
dropped the last few inches into the current. The only
injury, other than a bruised butt, was to my dignity.


=====
Sincerly Bev

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http://personal.mail.yahoo.com/
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From: Joe Pylka <pylka_at_castle.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2001 10:29:24 -0500
> I paddle a canoe, not a kayak, but unplanned swims are
> not exclusivly a kayak thing.
>
> I was on my favorite river, the Mullica, which is
> narrw, winding and has trees down that block the
> entire river.
>As I got back into the boat the hem of my tennis
> skirt snagged on one of the branch remnants. --------

    Don't feel too bad.  I've seen that on PB rivers more often that you'd
thing.  Of course, it's usually the newbies on a crowded river such as the
Wading.  But on the Mullica, a paddler with a sea kayak managed to get the
boat end pinned across the river just past a bend.  Yep, the next boat rode
over it, turning it over and both paddlers were in the water.
    I came to grief once using a whitewater canoe on that river -- not a bad
choice usually since the upper part twists and turns so much.  The others
were sliding easily under a riverwide log;  but not me.  I forgot that I had
much more freeboard.  I slid under and one gunwale contacted the log.  The
current very ceremoniously rolled me over into the water.....

   Beyond paddling, my main problem is that my trouser pockets are the exact
same height as doorknobs...

Joe P.


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From: Bill Leonhardt <WJLeonhardt_at_bnl.gov>
subject: RE: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2001 09:31:06 -0500
Time to fess up and join the ranks of the "graceful".

Many years ago, my wife and I went for an early fall paddle on the
Connetquot River, launching from the dock at Dowling College.  This is a
beautiful setting as Dowling College in a previous life was the Vanderbuilt
estate and the dock there is great because it is used by the skulling team.
 I guess it is about a foot or so off the water.  BTW, there were lots of
people around because it was some sort of "open house" weekend.

Well I helped my wife get in her boat and when, it was my turn, she
suggested that I "seal launch".  At that time I was paddling a plastic boat
with a small, fixed skeg that didn't look like it would get in the way.
(You can see this coming, right?)  Well I launched perpendicular to the
edge of the dock and the boat slid slowly into the water until the skeg
struck the edge of the dock and I stopped momentarily.  I then rotated
around the long axis of the boat and did a "half roll'.

In the end I wet exited, got back up on the dock, emptied out the boat and
entered the boat the usual way and was off.  I had drawn quite a crowd and
the worst part was assuring all those who rushed over to save me that I was
quite all right and really did know what I was doing.

There's a lesson here somewhere........

Bill Leonhardt :-)
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From: ralph diaz <rdiaz_at_ix.netcom.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2001 09:59:06 -0500
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bill Leonhardt" <WJLeonhardt_at_bnl.gov>

> Well I helped my wife get in her boat and when, it was my turn, she
> suggested that I "seal launch".  At that time I was paddling a plastic
boat
> with a small, fixed skeg that didn't look like it would get in the way.
> (You can see this coming, right)

> There's a lesson here somewhere........

Yes.  Don't listen to Pat.  I have at times detected a sly smile on her
face.  Bill, I think she set you up. :-)

ralph diaz

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From: Jackie Fenton <jackie_at_intelenet.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2001 11:47:20 -0800 (PST)
> From: "ralph diaz" <rdiaz_at_ix.netcom.com>

> > There's a lesson here somewhere........
> 
> Yes.  Don't listen to Pat.  I have at times detected a sly smile on her
> face.  Bill, I think she set you up. :-)
> 
> ralph diaz


In which case we owe her a big thanks 'cause that's one of the funniest
stories on an unplanned exit I've read :-)  Sorry, Bill :-))))) 

Of course, I've *never* had any embarassing exits....

Cheers,

Jackie (who's having to move the monitor further away to accommodate her
        growing nose...)
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From: <volinjo_at_juno.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2001 21:37:06 -0500
Patty - he's on to us...

Joan
....
> 
> Yes.  Don't listen to Pat.  I have at times detected a sly smile on 
> her
> face.  Bill, I think she set you up. :-)
> 
> ralph diaz
> 
>
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From: <Gypsykayak_at_aol.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Mon, 2 Apr 2001 15:49:52 EDT
There we wuz (Marinell Davis, Elaine Harmon, Ken Zinniger) on the beautiful 
Wild and Scenic Loxahatchee River in Florida and some poor kid was hollering 
because she was petrified in the family canoe.

I'm in this itty-bitty (9') Kiwi Kayak Lobo and I'm going to show her that 
this is really fun, aren't I?  Suddenly this branch appears and I leaned 
left.  Over and out!  That REALLY showed the little girl how "nothing" can 
happen to you.

sandy kramer who is digging through hundreds of messages trying to catch up
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From: Blaauw, Niels <nblaauw_at_foxboro.com>
subject: RE: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Tue, 3 Apr 2001 07:38:18 -0400
No wet exit, but embarassment enough in this little tale. Unlike some of my
tales, this one actually happened.

I was paddling with my friend Rob through the canals of Utrecht, my home
town in the Netherlands. The sun was already down, and in the twilight we
paddled a small, shallow canal, just outside the city, between a highway and
a graveyard. I had overlooked a branch of a tree hanging over the water. I
felt it touching my face. I heard a "thok" on the rear deck, maybe a little
splash, and noticed my eyesight had become blurry. My glasses were gone!

The water was shallow enough to wade in, so I took off my pants, got out of
the boat (In an OldTown Loon this is possible!) and tried with my toes to
find my glasses in 30 centimeters of mud and garbage on the bottom. No luck,
of course not, but I just had to try. When I gave up I was cold to the bone
and it was completely dark. Rob brought me home, where I started looking for
my spare glasses. First thing I found was a pair of prescription-sunglasses,
that lead me to my diving mask, that in turn gave enough eyesight to find
something decent. In my mind, I had written off my titanium frame, with
double-anti-reflection, scratch-resistant, extra-light glasses. I was
already thinking of what kind of glasses to buy next, where to go, what
insurance to bill...

But no. I knew it was hopeless, but I felt I had done not enough to retrieve
my beloved glasses. I went back the next day, in full daylight. I did not
own a wetsuit then, so I dressed in fleece. I felt awkward, in full view of
a highway, swimming fully dressed 10 meters from a graveyard. I promised
myself not to take any skulls or bones that I might encounter and prayed
nobody would stop to ask what I was doing. I found a tree that could have
been the one: It was hard to say, since the night before things had been too
dark and blurry to actually see any details. While smoking a last sigarette
I decided to start looking in the most shallow spot, downstream of the tree.
I went in, found the glasses in about 10 seconds, saved my victory-dance for
later at home and left the site of this embarressment as fast as possible.

These days, I tether my glasses.

Niels.
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From: <volinjo_at_juno.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Embarassing exits
Date: Tue, 3 Apr 2001 23:14:45 -0400
Great story....and amazing luck.

Last year we were doing a pool session, and I asked my husband to hang on
to my glasses while I practiced rolling, using a dive mask.  He hung them
around his neck, with the "keepers" that I always have on my glasses. 
Then after I finished practicing, he practiced a few - both of us
forgetting that he had my glasses around his neck.  When we got out of
the pool, I took my glasses back, and realized that I couldn't see out of
one eye.  Turned out there was no lens on that side - the frame had
creacked, and the lens ad fallen out, and was somewhere on the bottom of
the pool.  Bob got into the water, and found the lens first try.

About a week later, at another pool session, one of the women lost an
earring in the pool - just a tiny stud.  Bob walked around the outside of
the pool, looked in, and then went right to it.  Good eyes.

He also lost his glasses one time, when we were practicing in a nearby
creek.  The kayak company that we travel with uses that creek as its home
base, but that evening it was just the two of us.  Anyhow, it's pretty
murky, and when I reached into the water to try to grab his glasses as
they went down, I couldn't even see my hand, much less the glasses.  He
also lost his hat on that trip.  The following week we were out with the
kayak company, and happened to tell that story.  Turns out that the next
day there had been a trip from that spot, and they had found both the hat
and the glasses, so he got both of them back.

But your finding your glasses a day later when you weren't even sure you
were in the right place, beats all.

Joan

On Tue, 3 Apr 2001 07:38:18 -0400 "Blaauw, Niels" <nblaauw_at_foxboro.com>
writes:
> No wet exit, but embarassment enough in this little tale. Unlike some 
> of my
> tales, this one actually happened.
> 
> I was paddling with my friend Rob through the canals of Utrecht, my 
> home
> town in the Netherlands. The sun was already down, and in the 
> twilight we
> paddled a small, shallow canal, just outside the city, between a 
> highway and
> a graveyard. I had overlooked a branch of a tree hanging over the 
> water. I
> felt it touching my face. I heard a "thok" on the rear deck, maybe a 
> little
> splash, and noticed my eyesight had become blurry. My glasses were 
> gone!
> 
> The water was shallow enough to wade in, so I took off my pants, got 
> out of
> the boat (In an OldTown Loon this is possible!) and tried with my 
> toes to
> find my glasses in 30 centimeters of mud and garbage on the bottom. 
> No luck,
> of course not, but I just had to try. When I gave up I was cold to 
> the bone
> and it was completely dark. Rob brought me home, where I started 
> looking for
> my spare glasses. First thing I found was a pair of 
> prescription-sunglasses,
> that lead me to my diving mask, that in turn gave enough eyesight to 
> find
> something decent. In my mind, I had written off my titanium frame, 
> with
> double-anti-reflection, scratch-resistant, extra-light glasses. I 
> was
> already thinking of what kind of glasses to buy next, where to go, 
> what
> insurance to bill...
> 
> But no. I knew it was hopeless, but I felt I had done not enough to 
> retrieve
> my beloved glasses. I went back the next day, in full daylight. I 
> did not
> own a wetsuit then, so I dressed in fleece. I felt awkward, in full 
> view of
> a highway, swimming fully dressed 10 meters from a graveyard. I 
> promised
> myself not to take any skulls or bones that I might encounter and 
> prayed
> nobody would stop to ask what I was doing. I found a tree that could 
> have
> been the one: It was hard to say, since the night before things had 
> been too
> dark and blurry to actually see any details. While smoking a last 
> sigarette
> I decided to start looking in the most shallow spot, downstream of 
> the tree.
> I went in, found the glasses in about 10 seconds, saved my 
> victory-dance for
> later at home and left the site of this embarressment as fast as 
> possible.
> 
> These days, I tether my glasses.
> 
> Niels.
>
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