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From: Doug Lloyd <dalloyd_at_telus.net>
subject: [Paddlewise] Try not to sink that boat - was rolling in surf
Date: Wed, 4 Aug 2004 22:36:33 -0700
PeterO posted (snip):
>Re large boats - I would have said that as kayakers we have a tremendous
moral responsibility to avoid running into ferries and sinking them. And
going behind boats was a powerful tool in my armory of safety precautions
and moral rectitude.<

A most excellent post sir! Was hoping some satirist amongst the clan would
build off my last post - wasn't sure if it was going to be you, Mark,
Gordin, or someone else. We can only hope Dr. Peregrine Inverbon shows up
again one day too on some other more significant issue.

Your post did lack some specificity, most notably eyewear retention. The
latest retro-trend amongst paddlers is to tie a piece of string around the
back of the head using duct tape to secure it to the ear pieces. Very geeky,
very cool. Check out Scott Lynch's article in the October 2003 issue of Sea
Kayaker, "Eyewear Solutions for Paddlers" for a more definitive homemade
restrainer. As for hats, they are disposable items you silly man, though I
always use a clip these days (disposable judging by the number of kayakers
who loose them overboard or just plain forget them on the beach). :-)

On a more serious note (yeah, right), you really should have really defined
how kayakers and their craft appear to the various members of the maritime
community:

To powerboaters, we are speedbumps.
To jetskiis, we are elongated waterborne racing cones to buzz around.
To sailors, we simply lack tack(t) (except Tord!).
To freighter captains, we are simply an unnoticed bump in the night (or
fog).
To ferry captains, we are simply lost revenue (and therefore regarded in
pejorative terms).
To cruise ship staff, we are cause for idle speculation (as they cruise the
inside passage wondering why anyone would spend humble weeks paddling by day
in the rain and fighting bears for camping space by night).
To aircraft carrier personnel, we are simply flotsam that get stuck
in-between the giant links in their anchor lines.
To canoeists, we are stuck-up snobs easily making good our course despite
contradictory wind (unless one's skeg is, um,  stuck up again). :-)
To fishermen, we are the new source of revenue they contemplate as all the
fish slowly disappear (as in converting to a charter operator).
To bar pilots, some of us are insanity in motion.
To float plane pilots, we are funny looking logs to lift off above just
before impact.
To tug captains, we are just another annoyance to avoid.
To border patrol members, we are a source of yellow, orange, and red terror
(cool uh, kayakers causing terror in men's hearts, but what about Robin's
Egg Blue, Seawitch Green, Magenta Metalflake, and White-on-White?).
To auxiliary rescue society members, we are weekend warrior training fodder.
And to Coast Guard authorities, we are SCRRCS (Small Craft Requiring Retro
Conversion to Sponsons)!

Doug Lloyd
Victoria BC
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From: Gordin Warner <gwarner2_at_shaw.ca>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Try not to sink that boat - was rolling in surf
Date: Thu, 05 Aug 2004 13:42:09 -0700
>A most excellent post sir! Was hoping some satirist amongst the clan would
>build off my last post - wasn't sure if it was going to be you, Mark,
>Gordin, or someone else. We can only hope Dr. Peregrine Inverbon shows up
>again one day too on some other more significant issue.
>
>The latest retro-trend amongst paddlers is to tie a piece of string around the
>back of the head using duct tape to secure it to the ear pieces.

Having read and re-read the above sentence, I'm left wondering, why in the 
world would you want to secure your head to your ear pieces. ;-)

Retro-trend paddlers clearly lack confidence in their equipment.  Using 
both string and duct tape to secure their heads to their ear pieces is 
redundant.  One or the other should suffice. Perhaps they don't know how to 
tie knots.  Just about any combination of knots would work - a truckers 
hitch, half hitches, even a granny.

As a Canadian I have great faith in duct tape.  I would, however apply heat 
to the tape in order to get the maximum retention factor.  A Zippo, water 
proof match, or one of those ignite in a hurricane lighters would work 
equally well.  This of course should only be done by those who prefer 
either a Goth, skin head, or flash bang victim look.  Any of these looks 
might clash with the aforementioned retro-trend look that the paddler was 
trying to achieve.  If that was the case simply stick with the string solution.

I am not sure if the tape should go around the head vertically or 
horizontally.  I can see advantageous to either application.  Vertically 
applied tape would likely result in a quieter paddle for the companions of 
the retro-trend paddler.  On the other hand horizontally applied tape would 
help keep sea water out to the eyes and proboscis.

Gordin
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From: Bob Volin <bobvolin_at_optonline.net>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Try not to sink that boat - was rolling in surf
Date: Tue, 07 Sep 2004 21:07:10 -0400
....And to lobster boat pilots in Maine, we are "crayons."
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From: Al Staats <astaats_at_his.com>
subject: Re: [Paddlewise] Try not to sink that boat - was rolling in surf
Date: Tue, 07 Sep 2004 21:34:57 -0400
With a chuckle that barely contained his glee, a lobsterman said to me last 
summer while I was paddling of the coast of Maine, "you know what we call 
you fellas in them kayaks... speed bumps!
- AS

At 09:07 PM 9/7/2004 -0400, you wrote:
>....And to lobster boat pilots in Maine, we are "crayons."
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