Re: [Paddlewise] A Southern California Tragedy

From: Doug Lloyd <douglloyd_at_shaw.ca>
Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2007 17:56:08 -0700
Nick posted:

> On Mar 15, 2007, at 4:38 PM, Doug Lloyd wrote:
>
>> I was very saddened to hear about the loss of Steve's friend. The  only 
>> solace is he died doing an activity he obviously enjoyed...
>
> I had a discussion once with a friend of mine who is known to take  some 
> risks on the water. I asked him if it would be OK if he died  while 
> kayaking. He said, "No, I would feel horribly let down. I would  feel that 
> the place I love has turned against me."
>
> So, how would you feel?
> Nick Schade

Guess I wouldn't be there to feel anything, once dead that is. If I could, 
I'd be upset that I wouldn't be around to enjoy more storms and live to 
paddle another day. Of course, long-time paddlers who know the sea well, 
usually have undergone a reality check in this department.  Or were you 
asking how I'd feel if a risk-taking friend responded to me as they did to 
you? Then I'd reply to them, don't take the risk if you are not okay with 
the prospect of dying from engagement in the activity you claim to love. 
I've seen grown men scream, then cry, then scream again against the rage. 
Ocean rage on some days, that's just what they do.

So, I do know from the few times where I've wet exited and either lost my 
boat far from shore or was in cold water long enough to significantly loose 
dexterity and then increasingly question re-entry possibility, that the 
anxiety over one's young family can be despairingly desperate as things head 
more south. I don't image too many people have had to go through that. I 
know paddlers who stopped certain activities after having undergone these 
types of experiences. I have such a safety arsenal that I never give up 
total hope in these situations, rather preferring to persuade myself that I 
will accomplish a resolve with military-like determination based on my 
hierarchy of self-trained practice: a do-or-I-will-die attitude to match the 
do or die attitude that got me into trouble in the first place.

I'll probably die in a heart ward one day, in congestive heart failure or 
some such thing. The physician may lean over to the most mature looking 
relative and tell them to have the whole family say goodbye in an orderly 
fashion, the end being near, just prior to giving me a "little extra" 
morphine -- if you know what I mean. Right now, looking ahead to that kind 
of possibility, I'm thinking I'd rather die in a storm having fun, "doing 
what I loved best." However, surrounded by children and grandchildren in 
hospital or hospice is probably as it should be where one can be with 
family, even with the finality,  expressing gratitude for a life well lived. 
So, other than dieing in one's sleep or sudden accident I guess...you make 
your choices and takes your chances.

To be an old and bold paddler (my goal in life), I'll take my queue from 
Chuck Sutherland in part: wear adequate immersion apparel and a PFD. Most 
boating fatalities in BC are due to precisely those deficiencies.

On a very personal note, my wife Yvonne was crying the other day. She wants 
a break from all the excitement - probably a post-traumatic response to all 
the hospitalization and more recently, endless post-operative ER visits. She 
exasperatedly said to me, please Doug, our family has had enough of the 
flesh eating diseases, heart procedures, fibrillation episodes, open heart 
surgery marathons, and her own fights with cancer. She interestingly ended 
her list with "and close calls at sea and Coast Guard rescues."  Gulp!

Doug Lloyd
Victoria, BC 
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Received on Thu Mar 15 2007 - 17:57:35 PDT

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