Re: [Paddlewise] Immersion Protection (Humor)

From: Doug Lloyd <douglloyd_at_shaw.ca>
Date: Mon, 02 Jul 2007 21:29:49 -0700
Fat kayakers rock! Pleasantly plump paddlers are better insulated and float 
without adjunctive buoyancy - though rarely come out of their kayaks at sea 
accidentally, as self-rescue and group rescue can be more difficult so they 
are therefore much more prudent. Beyond this too, epidemiological studies 
suggest death rates that are lower for those who are not too heavily 
overweight, but overweight non the less. And rotund paddlers paddle bigger 
boats so carry more food that they can share with skinny dudes unable to 
generate calories for heating when their own rations prove meager, not to 
mention they bring more beer that can be shared; they are a slower 
moving/bigger target for a grizzly charging a group of kayakers and 
alternatively may scare away scavenging creatures of opportunity, though 
secretly, their skinny companions are now drunk and are more easily subdued 
by hungry wildlife. With bigness come bigger-muscles so they make great 
towing machines and kayak lifters and believe this, seem to be way easier 
going unlike those tight-butted dudes who flip out at every little 
inconvenience. While these heavyweights may produce more C02 gases, Peter O 
may need to provide some statistical, non-anecdotal, properly researched 
empirical evidence to back this up, though University of Illinois 
researchers suggested that obese Americans consume more gas in their 
vehicles and are therefore causing global warming to spiral out of control. 
However, we may need to realize Australian geographical specifics provide 
too much environmental variance for comparison to America, just like the 
difference between rudder efficiencies seem difficult to objectify between 
North America and Australia. While no lightweights when it comes to ability 
to manhandle a paddle, Mr. big and tall and wide also doesn't need a rudder, 
as his craft sits lower in the water thereby increasing waterline length and 
therefore increasing tracking ability. Plus-sized paddlers have better 
websites too. No roll or drown here, just good, meaty footage of surf 
carnage, splashing wave faces in the face, and friends of all sizes 
cavorting around at sea. Eschewing the fat farm, these above average 
paddlers genetically predisposed to their size forego the elusiveness of 
thinness, make peace with their super-size, and paddle on in pursuit of 
happiness and what health benefits accrue. Amen.

DL

> Interesting that you should bring this up. I've been working on the
> subcutaneous fat as an insulator issue for some years now.
>
>
> Craig Jungers
> Royal City, WA
>
> On 7/2/07, Bradford_Crain <crainb_at_pdx.edu> wrote:
>>
>> Has anyone taken their cue from those masters of immersion, the seals and
>> the polar bears? Anyone tried paddling in a cute little furry white
>> outfit?
>> Wouldn't you look spiffy in a seal suit! Of course, being dismembered by
>> an orca might be a problem. But most activities carry some risk. Adds to
>> the excitement.
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Received on Mon Jul 02 2007 - 21:30:41 PDT

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