RE: [Paddlewise] The Wife's Ultimatum

Dear Craig,

Please consider giving your wife a wonderful week at The S.P.A.  (The
Stepford Paddling Appreciatorium).  She will be treated to daily cleansing
treatments where her brain will be gently washed to remove all negative
thoughts about kayaks, canoes, and paddling gear.   We will get her into
perfect shape with our conditioning program designed with the assistance of
both the Pavlovian Institute and the Skinner Center.   Just the sight of a
kayak will bring her pleasant sensations and stimulate her maternal
instincts resulting in desires to wash it, wax it, 303 the hatch covers.
and carefully store it in your living room where it will be warm, dry, and
comfortable.   Of course this may result in difficulties with letting you
take the white-water kayaks out in Class III and IV conditions.   We also
offer special heated rock massages using genuine Canadian Ballast Rocks 
which we find not only leave the recipient relaxed, but produces ingrained
muscle memory  which results in a strong desire to go paddling.   Our
special seaweed body wraps have an effect similar to the Canadian Ballast
Rocks, but tend to produce a strong desire to go sea-kayaking.    We do
also offer a special program for couples interested in tandem kayaking or
canoeing, but it requires at least a 3 month stay to bring about a true
state of compatibility.

We at the S.P.A.  have been diligently working on a program suitable for
husbands of female paddlers.  However, despite our best efforts, we have
not been successful at implementing a program which will get them to stop
and ask for directions or get them to remember to put the toilet seat back
down. 

Sincerely,

Mark J. Arnold,  CPA (certified paddling addict)
Executive Director of The S.P.A.





> [Original Message]
> From: Craig Jungers <crjungers_at_gmail.com>
> To: Paddlewise <paddlewise_at_paddlewise.net>
> Date: 8/5/2007 15:08:30
> Subject: [Paddlewise] The Wife's Ultimatum
>
> This has been brewing for a number of years but apparently my recent
> aquisition of a Mariner Express was the straw. My wife thinks we have too
> many boats. 
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